Thursday, March 19, 2009

I Would Make a Terrible President

I have been going through some pretty stressful things recently (I can't go into detail now on the off chance that certain people somehow happen upon this blog) and all of the sudden I was hit with the realization that I would make an absolutely terrible president. I might be able to pull off maniacal dictator, but not president. I think about the amount off stress I have been dealing with and how I just want to crawl off into a desolate forest somewhere never to hear from or see human kind again.

Then I try to think of how much pressure there is on the President of the United States and my brain simply melts. I'm not talking about just Obama, I'm talking about every president ever. The tasks they face each and every day are just mind cripplingly unfathomable. No matter what you do with your life you can't really even come close to that level of responsibility and the inherent stress that goes with it. And all the while everyone expects you to remain calm and poised at all times, as opposed to the maniacal dictator who, although I'm sure has his/her own stress to deal with, really just has to figure out how many people they will need to kill before everyone else falls in line. If I was in Obama's shoes right now, I'd probably run full speed into a nuclear reactor core.

I guess what I'm trying to say is "Hey stand up and late night comedians. Lay the fuck off a bit will ya'"


Mike Bauman said...

Being the President is easy! I can't believe he gets $400,000 of OUR taxpayer-dollars every year.

Excuse me, I had a Buffalo moment there. Back in Buffalo, it is common to complain about firefighters, teachers, and cops making more than $16,000 a year because "hey, what makes them so fucking special? I clean toilets at a gas station and I only make $3 an hour. No one ever calls me a hero! They're not better than me."

I wrote the same thing at the Buffalo News website. If you find my dead body, each orifice stuffed with spicy chicken wings, you will know why.

Chris Othic said...

Maybe it would be easier on the president if they let him kill 10 people whenever he wants over the course of a four-year term. That could be a fun idea. It's not so many people that you wouldn't be afraid to speak out against his policies, but enough so that he/she could blow off a little steam every now and then.

If they go over and kill 11, then we try to impeach them just like if they get too many blowjobs (limit one, apparently).