My NCAA Bracket is busted. I have no teams left. I’ve never, ever had a bracket where I picked zero teams in the Final Four. ZERO. I don’t know what happened. It’s like I was picking teams from the women’s tournament. I might have possibly chosen teams from soccer. Or Australian rules football. I just don’t know.
This is the worst March Madness showing in Chris Othic history. It’s like the end of an era or something. It stinks. As a matter of fact, it ranks right down there with the time I was on Spring Break at Daytona Beach in ’93 and somehow picked five lesbians in a row to hit on. It was a horrible job of picking potential sex partners on my part. Simply awful.
Sadly, that was a true story.
So anyway, the odds of me winning my NCAA pool are the same as the odds of me winning a Pulitzer Prize for this blog entry.
Let’s just take a moment to think of me and my crumpled piece of paper that ten days ago I thought was worth over $400. Next year, I’ll do better. I’ll pick based on which mascot could beat up the other team’s mascot. But I’ll pick teams from the women’s tourney. Which probably has some lesbians in it. Which ties into my earlier paragraph where I mentioned lesbians, which ties into my point about me making horrible choices, like I did in my NCAA Pool.
Did you see that Pulitzer Prize Committee? How I made my writing fold back in on itself like that? Impressive, isn't it?
You can just send my prize to my home address.