The Greatest Scene Ever Written

Greg and Mike have been NATtering about having written the greatest comedy sketch ever. Clearly, they suffer from delusions of glandular.

Here is the greatest scene ever written, as documented by Guinness, Nobel and Pulitzer.*

"Waiter Scene No. 6, Op. 68, F Major, “Pastoral”
also known as
"Recollections of a Country Life"
Written By Joe Janes

(Lights up on a mustachioed fellow sipping soup at an outdoor cafe. He notices something in his next spoonful and dumps the contents back into the bowl with malcontent flourish. He beckons the waiter.)

WAITER

Waiter!

(Phillipe, 50s, a career waiter who is tall, thin and generously nosed, approaches the table. He wears a tuxedo and has a red cloth draped over his extended forearm.)

PHILLIPE

Yes?

WAITER

What is this fly doing in my soup?

PHILLIPE

Fuck you.

(A bird tweets. A lonely dog barks in the distance. A gunshot is heard. A man, unseen, coughs while commuting to work on a train, also unseen. Lights s-l-o-w-l-y fade.)

* Craig Guinness, Phil Nobel and Potsie Pulitzer