365 Sketches - We Did It!

Well, it was a little rough around the edges, but we made it through our 365 show last night, all in one piece.

I had a blast, from beginning to end, working with a super fun cast and bringing Joe's words to life, or at least something that closely resembled it. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat--which is only slightly longer than Nat had to perform "Still Life" when a music snafu made our three and a half minute scene into about a minute and half. I love live theater.

Here are some fun pics of the show that were originally posted here by Don Hall over at the 365 Sketches Blog. (Which reminds me, there are still four more nights of shows! Go see some by clicking here to get your tickets.)

Geoff Crump laments sending an email in all caps to the entire office in "Stop SHOUTING." From left to right: Geoff Crump, Mackenzie Yeager, Mike Bauman, Becca Levine, Chris Othic, Nat Topping.

Nat Topping shares a "funny" idea with his sketch comedy writing class in "A Thing I Wrote." From left to right: Mike Bauman, Chris Othic, Becca Levine, Geoff Crump, Nat Topping and Mackenzie Yeager.

Becca Levine smokes a pipe in the background as Geoff Crump tells why his "Unicorn" is better than Mackenzie Yeager's "Clap" in "The Unicorn and the Vengeance."

Geoff Crump and King Kong (Tamara Raphaeli) fail to impress a tough crowd in "The Eighth Wonder of the World."

My awards (which will probably mean nothing to you if you didn't see the show), as follows (and based on some stuff I heard from others after the show):

Best Line Not Written By Joe Janes: Geoff Crump - "Let me put my shirt back on!"
Castmember Who Seemed to Be Having the Most Fun: Mackenzie Yeager and her imaginary suit of armor in "The Unicorn and the Vengeance"
Best Display of A King Kong Rampage If King Kong Was Blind: Tamara Raphaeli
Best Transition Music of All Time That Should Have Been 30-45 Seconds Longer: Going into "The Eighth Wonder of the World" (A Very Short Night On Bald Mountain)
Best Scene That Should Have Been 3 Minutes Longer: "Still Life"
Biggest Surprise: We somehow actually sang Joe's clunky ass lyrics to "A Gospel Song For Atheists" and the audience loved it
Worst English Accent: Still Kevin Kostner in 1991's "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves"
Second Worst English Accent: Chris Othic in "The Curse of The Speckled Bullet"

I'm sure there are other awards to give that are too numerous to mention. And as a word of advice, I would tell anyone that ever considered directing and also acting in a sketch show that if you don't get yourself an assistant director from day one you are an idiot.

All in all, it was a great thrill. I want to thank my great cast, Tamara Raphaeli for stepping in at the last minute to help assistant direct and be the gorilla wrangler, Joe for writing the show, Don Hall for his superb producing skills, and Jess McCloud for stage managing under some insane circumstances.

This whole experience was like eating the finest meal at Skarki's. And when we carried off the Stanley Cup at the end, it was glorious. Totally glorious.

Show Review: Crassus

How do you review a show before it even happens? Well, like this:

The mantastic comedy duo of Crassus (Nat Topping and Geoff Crump) appeared at Fizz Bar tonight (Tuesday, May 11 at 7:30 p.m.) and killed (figuratively if not almost literally when they got in a knife fight on stage during their 12-minute set). These guys are the first spin-off* from local faves Robot vs. Dinosaur, a sketch comedy group that ranks somewhere below Monty Python and far above Think Tank and whom you should definitely be on the lookout for.

But I digress. We’re here to talk about Crassus. I really liked the show, which was a unique blend of dark humor, relationship exploration and dick joke after dick joke after somebody shat in my hand joke.

A brief breakdown of tonight’s scenes (most likely, since the show hasn’t even happened yet):

The show opened with Nat feeding Geoff grapes. The grapes were sour, however, and the end result was not only a unique play on the phrase “sour grapes” but also an exploration of what it means to be in love.

After a quick black out to move a single chair (this bit became a running part of the show and eventually led to the previously mentioned knife fight) the lights came up and the audience was hit in the face with some more comedy. In what can only be described as a “masturbatory fantasy” Nat and Geoff explored the comic possibilities of masturbation as an Olympic Sport. I don’t want to spoil anything, but the end of this one would have made Gallagher proud. Gold medals all around for their object work, too.

The third scene was probably my favorite. These guys really explored character and emotion when they portrayed two gay Siamese twins who decided to adopt a one-armed baby and bring it home for the first time. I know that doesn’t even make sense but it’s one of those “you had to be there” scenes. That the scene was wisely played for drama more than comedy speaks a lot about the talent of Nat and Geoff as they explore what it means to be a parent, and what the meaning of home is for two gay Siamese twins who live in a sausage factory. Great object work in this one, as well.

Another great scene (see picture below) featured old Nat (played by Nat) coming back to tell young Nat (played by Geoff) how to live his life. This one brought tears to my eyes.


Young Nat (Geoff) and Old Nat (Nat) discuss life, love and the best way to pleasure a whale in a scene from Crassus' first show.

The next scene dealt with Nat and Geoff’s decision to be sewn together as a human centipede, and the ensuing problem when they both want to be at the back end of the monstrosity. I loved it when a scene that could easily have turned into an argument takes a strange turn and becomes so much more. And they both sing beautifully (which was impressive because by the end of the scene they had sewn each other’s mouths to the other one’s anus). This was also quite possibly the best use of the James Blunt song, "You're Beautiful" in any show I have ever seen.

The penultimate scene was so simple and touching (beware the double entrendre!) in its premise and execution that I don’t want to give it away. Let’s just say it involved a prop with a hole cut in it and the fate of the entire world is at stake when the dynamic duo have to decide what to put in the hole. This one doesn’t end how you think it will!

The final scene of the night (the show was “cut short” when Geoff literally sliced Nat with a blade) was an office scene where Geoff fires Nat for stealing office supplies. Maybe they were going to do a callback later that involved dick jokes or something, but this one was just a typical scene set in an office with office humor and also at the end you find out that Geoff and Nat are brothers. Meh.

The show ended, appropriately, with a stabbing. This was only right because Crassus had been stabbing the audience in the face with comedy for the previous 12 minutes. These guys know how to be funny and the running themes they explore such as love, status in a relationship and potty humor are right in their wheel house.

Overall, I’m pretty sure it was a great show even though it hasn’t happened yet. I highly recommend it. Check them out tonight (May 11) and next Tuesday (May 18) at Fizz Bar (3220 North Lincoln) at 7:30 p.m.--and it’s FREE!

*Other RvD members Chris Othic and Greg Wendling also have plans to do their own RvD branded one-woman show in the fall.

Rape Awareness

Since a couple of our writers have been busy, I wanted to post this very important information I received in an email. It seems there might be a rapist in Virginia, and he is raping people for $5 a raping. Just read the email below and you will see. It must be true because it uses ALL CAPS alot, it mentions a police department, and it has been forwarded quite a few times before it got to me, which means a lot of people had a chance to decide this was false info, but they didn't. So please, please, please, take heed and tell everyone you know, or at the very least the people that you would not like to see get raped.

Remember, rape is not a joke, people. It’s not even a tasteless and offensive joke. And be careful when coming out of any Exxon/Blimpie Pie Station because even if they have cheap gas you will likely get raped. And is that really worth the savings? No, not even in this economy.

The important email:

Rapist's New Trick -- Please take 3 minutes and read this ... then pass it on.

RAPIST TRICK

Know what money you are carrying.. You will see why as you read.

Be sure every woman is aware of this method of operating. Share it with those you love. Know what money you are carrying.. This was the first I have heard of a scheme like this. Be safe! Something very serious to pay attention to.

Criminals are coming up with craftier, less threatening methods of attack, so we have to be extra cautious.

Read on about the author who lives in Alexandria, VA.

I live in Alexandria , VA , but I often work in Lafayette , LA , staying with friends when I'm there. As you know from America 's Most Wanted TV program, as well as the news media, there is a serial killer in the Lafayette area. I just wa nt to let you know about an "incident" that happened to me a few weeks ago, and could have been deadly.

At first I didn't go to the police or anyone with it because I didn't 0D> realize how serious this encounter was. But since I work in a jail and I told a few people about it, it wasn't long before I was paraded into Internal Affairs to tell them my story. It was approximately 5:15 a.m. In Appaloosas , La. I had stayed with a friend there and was on my way to work.

I stopped at the Exxon/Blimpie Pie station to get gas. I got $10 gas and a Diet Coke. I took into the store two $5 bills and one $1 bill (just enough to get my stuff).. As I pulled away from the store, a man approached my truck from the back side of the store (an unlit area).

He was an "approachable-looking" man (clean cut, clean shaven, dressed well, etc.). He walked up to my window and knocked. Since I'm very paranoid and 'always looking for the rapist or killer,' I didn't open the window.

I just asked what he wanted. He raised a $5 bill to my window and said, "You dropped this." Since I knew I had gone into the store with a certain amount of money, I knew I didn't drop it.

When I told him it wasn't mine, he began hitting the window and door, screaming at me to open my door, and insisting that I had dropped the money! At that point, I just drove away as fast as I could.

After talking to the Internal Affairs Department and describing the man I saw, and the way he escalated from calm and polite to angry and volatile .... it was determined that I could have possibly encountered the serial killer myself..

Up to this point, it had been unclear as to how he had gained access to his victims, since there has been no evidence of forced entry into victim's homes, cars, etc. And the fact that he has been attacking in the daytime, when women are less likely to have their guard up, means he is pretty BOLD.

So think about it...what gesture is nicer than returning money to someone that dropped it?????

How many times would you have opened your window (or door) to get your money and say thank you ...

Because if the person is kind enough to return something to you, then he can't really be a threat .... can he????

Please be cautious! This might not have been the serial killer... But anyone that gets that angry over someone not accepting money from them can't have honorable intentions. The most important thing to note is that his reaction was NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! A total surprise! But what might have happened if I had opened my door? I shudder to think!

Forward this to everyone you know .... maybe they can be as fortunate as I was!

P.S.. Ladies, really DO forward this to EVERYONE you know. Even if this man wasn't a serial killer, he looked nice, he seemed polite, he was apparently doing an act of kindness, but HE WAS NOT A NICE PERSON!

Men , send it to all the women in> your life. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. Make it a good one!

Please forward to anyone you think might benefit from this story.

Post script: Okay, by now you realize I am making fun of this email that is pretty effed up and really will likely just scare more people than it will help. I supposed if it does prevent one person from being raped at an Exxon/Blimpie Pie Station, that is a good thing.

But before you dismiss the warning here entirely, I just wanted to add that one time I was coming out of 7-11 and a guy came up to me with a baby and he was like "Sir, you dropped your baby." And then he raped me. And then I took a paternity test and found out that the baby I supposedly dropped was actually Geoff Crump’s baby.

So now I never go to 7-11, only White Hen Pantry.