Muffin Tops

Did you know that "Muffin Top" was recently added to the Oxford English Dictionary? Well, it was.

"2. a protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers."

And while it may have taken Oxford University until 2011 to appreciate the phenomenon, our friends at Creepy Hug have been celebrating Muffin Tops for years. This video is from Chicago Sketchfest 2009, and it also reveals Creepy Hug took notice of Charlie Sheen long before his recent press. They were about 25 years late on Rainbow Bright, however. Enjoy.

Happy Pulaski Day!

Our friends at *Creepy Hug, and the Peanuts gang, help explain what this holiday is all about.

365 Sketches - RvD Show Tonight!

Tonight RvD will make their contribution to Joe's 365 Sketches festival when we present "A Thing I Wrote" (on a double-bill with "Fools Rush In Where Angels Fear To Treadmill") starting at 8 p.m. Get your tickets here.

Back in January of this year, as Joe was wrapping up the project, us fine folks at RvD thought we would like to present Joe with a special gift. So in keeping with the spirit of his project, we decided to write a scene about how it all began. We called it "Day Zero."

Here are a few interesting tidbits I thought you might like to hear about before I post the scene below.

• We wrote this in a round-robin style: one writer started and wrote a beat, then emailed it to the next, and so on. I think this scene feels pretty seamless but you might try to figure out where one beat ends and a new one begins. Even we aren't sure at this point.
• The opening line of the scene and the closing are more or less what Joe wrote to open scene 1 and close scene 365 of his project.
• There are a few references here and there to other scenes Joe wrote throughout the year.
• There is a special guest star, whom I won't reveal here, but it was fun to ridicule them.
• Yes, Joe is ridiculed endlessly.
• The "Fearinator" sequence is actually a riff on Joe's post titled "TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD PLEASE STOP DOING IN YOUR SKETCH REVUE - NOW!!!" You should read it. Really.

And so now, without further ado, Robot vs. Dinsaur presents: "365 Sketches - Day Zero." (Please forgive the formatting of this scene as my meager blogging skills could not live up to the task of making it look presentable.)

“365 SKETCHES - DAY ZERO”

Not Written by Joe Janes
1/19/2010
0 of 365

CAST
MR. WILLIAMS
JOE JANES
CRAZY MAN
WOMAN/SUZAN-LORI PARKS
BRET
TAMMY
BOB
TOM
SHERRY
MAN IN A CHICKEN SUIT

(Lights up on Joe Janes in his office cubicle. He is packing stuff from his desk into a cardboard box previously used to store reams of paper. He looks sad. Mr. Williams enters carrying a thick, but not cumbersome, stack of files. The top file is in a very colorful, recognizable folder while the others are a drab manila. As they talk, Mr. Williams is only half-listening as he sits at Joe’s old desk and reads through the files.)

MR. WILLIAMS
Janes?

(Joe bucks up and feigns happiness.)

JOE
Yes, Mr. Williams?

MR.WILLIAMS
How are we doing?

JOE
No complaints, Mr. Williams! This lay off couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. It’s the perfect excuse to get out there and do the things I’ve been too busy to do.

MR. WILLIAMS
What will you be doing with your time?

JOE
I--I don’t--

MR. WILLIAMS
You mentioned the things you’ve been too busy to do. Like what?

(Joe is stumped. He looks worried.)

MR. WILLIAMS
Well, not to worry. I’m sure you’ll think of something. Say, here’s an interesting file. “Roger Casey found dead in his home after writing 364th sketch.” You write funny little skits sometimes, don’t you? You ever hear of this guy?

(Joe is still in his own world.)

MR. WILLIAMS
Well this is the fourth pathetic little clown this week who attempted to write a sketch a day for one year that’s been found dead. All of them on Day 364. They should just stop trying. But I suppose you theatre types--resilient spirits and all. Anyway. Say, Joe, I’m very busy today. As a final favor, will you finish these files for me before you go?

JOE
Sure.

MR. WILLIAMS gets up.

MR. WILLIAMS
Well, I guess this is it for us, eh? Look, I’ve, uh, never been good at saying goodbye. So fuck you.

MR. WILLIAMS leaves abruptly. JOE pushes the stack of files onto the floor, sending paper flying everywhere. The colorful folder is still intact and it catches his eye. He opens it and looks inside. It contains:

JOE
A pen, a notepad and a Starbucks gift card? I see what’s going on here. Williams is trying to challenge me! Well, I’ll show that asshole! No one challenges Joe Janes to a possibly death defying task. I can write 365 sketches in a year! Hell, I’ve gone without sex for longer than that.

(We hear a rimshot. Joe pauses, as if he heard it but doesn’t know what it was.)

JOE
I mean, I could really make my mark. I could write 365 sketches, and they would be good sketches too, not cliché ridden crap like everyone else is doing. Hell, it might even get me laid!

(We hear a sad trombone. Joe definitely hears it this time.)

JOE
What is that? Who’s there?

(We hear the Porky Pig ending to Warner Brothers cartoons. (“Ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, that’s all folks”!) And then another comic sound effect.)

JOE
I don’t know what you’re game is, but (he picks up a stapler) I’ve got a gun. Actually, it’s a stapler, because I am against gun violence, but I’m holding it like a gun. And I will not hesitate to staple you. I am not against staple violence.

(A CRAZY MAN enters.)

CRAZY MAN
Okay, okay, I say “PUT THAT STAPLER DOWN!” and then you say “YOU’RE A BAD STAPLER!” (laughs hysterically) Then dick joke, dick joke, dick joke, VAGINA! (laughs hysterically)

JOE
Who the hell are you?

CRAZY MAN
Okay, okay, Who’s on First. What’s on Second. I’M ON THIRD! (Pause) WHO AM I? I SAID WHO AM I?

JOE
I, I don’t know.

CRAZY MAN
GIVE THAT MAN A DOLLAR!

JOE
Who are you?

CRAZY MAN
What is this, A RELATIONSHIP SCENE!? (laughs hysterically) TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE! (rimshot)

JOE
I think I’m going to call security!

CRAZY MAN
Why did the chicken swim like a duck? Because Violets in Garlic Sauce! (rimshot) But that makes no sense! Soooooo—IT MUST BE A DADA SCENE!

JOE
Look, I don’t—this isn’t quite dada. Dada is actually a cultural movement that began in Zürich, Switzerland, during World War I and peaked during--

CRAZY MAN
Hey asshole! I’m the ghost of Roger Casey! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

JOE
Listen, I don’t know what’s going on here, but--

CRAZY MAN lunges at JOE, grabbing him around the neck. He rambles.

CRAZY MAN
365! 365! 364 DID THIS TO ME BUT I NEED IT! I NEED 365!

JOE
You’re hurting me!

CRAZY MAN
Something that’ll KILL ‘em! That will leave ‘em ROLLING IN THE AISLES! GIVE IT TO ME!! 365!!

JOE
Help! Somebody help me!

(Suddenly, there’s a bright light upstage. A figure stands in the light.)

WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S)
ROGER CASEY--THE POWER OF PULITZER COMPELS YOU! BACK TO HELL WITH THEE!

(CRAZY MAN lets go and shrinks. He starts to slink off stage. Before he exits--)

CRAZY MAN
Beware 364! Tip your waitress. Try the veal.

(CRAZY MAN holds up an applause sign, waits for applause, then exits. The bright light from upstage is extinguished, revealing a young African American WOMAN with long braided hair.)

WOMAN
Joe Janes, I presume. I love your alliteration.

JOE
What is going on? Who-who are you?

WOMAN
I’m the ghost of Suzan-Lori Parks, MacArthur Foundation “Genius” and Pulitzer Prize winner for my play, Topdog/Underdog.

JOE
But Suzan-Lori Parks isn’t dead. How can you be a ghost?

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Pulitzer Prize winner Suzan-Lori Parks, thank you, and, I’ll be whatever I want. What have you ever won, Joe Janes?

JOE
I won an Emmy once.

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Primetime Emmy or Regional Emmy?

JOE
Well, I mean...

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Look, Joe: I’m not here to talk about who won what Genius grant and when – I did, in 2001 – I’m here to talk about the incredible journey you’re about to embark on.

JOE
The lay-off?

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
365! The quest for that glorious number.

JOE
Oh, I don’t know about all that. I’m rethinking the whole thing after the attack of Roger Casey’s ghost.

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
It’s very hard to do, Joe, but it can be done. I should know; I did it. 365 Days/365 Plays. But writing 365 of anything is not for the weak of heart.

JOE
Um, I read some of those plays and really, they weren’t very good.

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
(Grabbing Joe) Quality doesn’t matter! A lesser writer crumbles at 364! As you’ve seen! But the reward...the reward is great, my friend.

JOE
Getting laid.

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
(Looking him up and down.) That’s probably not gonna happen for you BUT there is this: the next time you’re teaching a writing workshop at New York University, and one of your students says ”I have writer’s block,” you can say, ”Writer’s block?! I wrote 365 sketches in 365 days! WRITER’S BLOCK DOESN’T EXIST, ASSHAT!”

JOE
That does sound pretty great. An excuse to use the word “asshat.”

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
First, I need to show you something. Grab on to my braids.

JOE
Where are we going?

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
My secret hideaway, nestled high above the earth in the Himalaya Mountains!

(JOE grabs SUZAN-LORI PARKS’ braids. They are magically transported one way or another to SUZAN-LORI PARKS’ hideaway, which is a simple room in the Himalaya Mountains.)

JOE
Hey, this looks just like the Second City Training Center’s Teachers’ lounge.

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
It’s a recreation for your benefit because to be able to conquer 365 sketches you must first be able to transcend all of your fears. In order to have the mental strength to make it to 365 you must go on a soul searching expedition. Through that bathroom door marked “For Faculty Use Only” is what I call “The Fearinator.”

(Joe groans disgustedly.)

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Lay off, it’s tough thinking of clever names. Once you have entered the Fearinator your trial will begin. If you survive the trial you will gain the mental strength required to tackle the task of 365 sketches. If you fail, well, you can still teach. Fare thee well, Joe Janes.

(She motions toward the bathroom door. Joe walks through hesitantly and on the other side is a bare stage. He stands for a moment, but no one is there.)

JOE
Hello? This isn’t so scary. It’s just a bare stage.

(The light suddenly go black and we hear some loud, fun scene change music. We also hear some actors moving chairs and setting a scene. When the lights come up, Joe is standing off to the side. BRET, TAMMY, BOB, TOM and others are seated in chairs and motion toward him.)

TAMMY
Joe! We didn’t think you’d make it! Sherry’s coming up the stairs now.

(JOE seems a little woozy and makes his way over towards the couch. Everyone is quietly talking. Sherry enters. She is wearing a bee-hive wig, torn clothing, and her make-up is a mess.)

SHERRY
What’s going on?

BRET
Sherry, all of your friends and family are here today to help you with your problem.

SHERRY
Problem? I don’t have a problem?

BRET
Sherry, this is an intervention.

JOE
Oh no. Oh dear God no, not an intervention scene!

(As the scene continues JOE becomes more and more exhausted, distraught, disgusted, and gradually weaker.)

BRET
We’re here to help you with your Amy Winehouse-itis. Your friends and family have become very concerned.

SHERRY
So I like to party a little, so what? I’m not hurting anyone. I do not have Amy Winehouse-itis.

JOE
No… the fake celebrity disease trick. My God, I’m stuck in a shitty scene!

TAMMY
Oh Sherry. What went wrong? I know things haven’t been the same since your father died from cancerous AIDS. And sure, we all like to occasionally get our slippery fur-box stuffed full of thick veiny cock, but you’ve taken it too far.

JOE
That’s pointless shock value… uuuuughh…

BOB
I’d like to say something SHIT COCK ASS! Sorry, my Tourette’s acts up when I feel stress. COCK SHIT FUCKLOAD! Sorry. I just hope my Alzheimer’s… where am I? Who are FUCKING SHIT FUCK are you people?

JOE
No… no more…

TOM
Sherry, me and Bret have been getting together every night to try and figure out the best way to help you. We have put in some long, hard nights.

BRET
We sure have Tom. Real looong and haaaaard nights pumping each other for ideas.

TOM
We have emptied our idea juice all over each other trying to figure this out.

JOE
Badly disguised homosexual overtones… please… make it stop!

(Everyone stops and looks at Joe.)

BRET
Joe, wouldn’t you like to say something?

JOE
No… no… this sketch… it’s too horrible!

TAMMY
Come on Joe, you have to participate in the scene.

JOE
Sher… Sherry… Obama’s healthcare reform will give you access to cutting edge treatment, if it ever gets passed. Am I right?

(The whole group laughs.)

BRET
And…..

(JOE can hardly even stand at this point.)

JOE
I can’t… the story is unfinished. It’s all shock and awe…

(Everyone ad libs “C’mon Joe, join in.” “Participate.” “Become one of us.” etc.)

JOE
(Struggling) And . . . another thing Sherry; You going out and . . . getting all messed up is about as foolish as . . . as our invasion of Iraq?

BRET
Nice try, Joe, but I think what you really meant to say was: It’s about as foolish as wearing your PANTS ON THE GROUND!

(The whole group, sans JOE, starts singing. JOE continues to wail and sob and scream.)

EVERYONE
Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! Call yourself a cool cat, lookin’ like a fool. Walkin! Talkin, with your pants on the ground!

JOE
(over their singing) No! No! Stop it--this is the worst scene ever! Nooooooooooo!

(The lights come down and more loud music kicks in. After a moment, lights up.)

BRET
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Now we’re going to change things up a bit and do our semi-improv portion of the sketch show.

JOE
Noooooooooo!

(The lights change again as JOE goes running back through the bathroom door. There are a few seconds of weird lights and sounds, like strange laughing and bad improvised lines, dick and fart jokes, and the like. Once Joe makes it through the door the lights come back up. He collapses, out of breath and sobbing.)

JOE
I couldn’t do it! I just couldn’t--fucking hacks!

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
But you survived! You are ready!

JOE
But I didn’t make it to the end of the Fearinator.

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Oh, don’t worry, no one ever makes it through the improv portion. It’s only the real sketch comedy writers that are wise enough to leave when that crazy shit starts. So now you are ready.

JOE
Do you really think I can do it?

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Yes. You have it in you. Just avoid cliches, observe your world to get inspired, and if you find yourself getting stuck, write a blackout. Or a relationship scene. You’ll probably write a shit load of those in the coming year.

JOE
Thank you, Suzan-Lori Parks. I’m ready. I am going to explore comic situations and relationships. The fish out of water will be my best friend! My contexts will clash like titans! I am going to write the best 365 sketches the world has ever seen! It’s going to be wonderful!

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Sure, sure, whatever. But listen, Joe, there is one final test.

JOE
What’s that?

(A MAN IN A CHICKEN SUIT enters.)

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
You have to have sex with this man in a chicken suit.

JOE
Why?

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Because we bought a chicken suit and we needed to make use of it.

JOE
But, I don’t want to--

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
(Cuts him off.) For your art, Joe Janes! For your art!

(Joe sighs and makes peace with the fact that he will have to get fucked by a chicken.)

SUZAN-LORI PARKS
Good luck Joe Janes. I would say something funny as I exit, but I’m going to leave that for your rewrite. And I’ve never been good at saying good bye. So fuck you.

(Suzan-Lori Parks grabs her braids and flies herself offstage. Joe stares at the Man In A Chicken Suit for a moment.)

MAN IN A CHICKEN SUIT
Hi, I’m Randy.

JOE
We’re not really going to have sex, are we?

(The Man in the Chicken Suit reaches over and turns on a radio on Joe’s desk. We hear “Let’s Get It On.” He starts dancing at a terrified Joe as lights fade.)

FADE TO BLACK

Richard Kind is Famous

First of all, I want to take exception to the new title graphic someone put up on this blog: "ROBOT VS. DINOSAUR - CHICAGO FEATURING CHRIS OTHIC." I feel it should be noted that I also post here occasionally, so it's not just the Chris Othic show around here thank YOU very much.

**UPDATE 12:15 CST - Thank you, blog gods, for making the correction to the title graphic**

Okay, to the point: today's post.


This last weekend was the 50th anniversary celebration for the Second City. The theatre company held all sorts of special reunion shows, round table discussions, lectures, get-togethers, love-ins and other assorted events. In my typical Nat Topping obliviousness - I can barely remember my own birthday much less some theatre company's fiftieth - I nearly missed out on everything.


Luckily, my girlfriend (who is admittedly smarter than me) managed to get tickets to the mainstage show last night. While not strictly a special 50th anniversary function, there were alumni present so we had a combination sketch show and celebrity whale watching expedition.


Before the show started, this guy wandered by our section of the theatre:


I know I'd seen this guy before in a bunch of stuff. I couldn't place where. Neither could my girlfriend. The guy from Arkansas sitting at our table also couldn't place him, and neither could his disinterested girlfriend from Colorado.


Even the four students who snuck in at intermission and took the seats behind us couldn't think of the guys name. We all knew he was famous; we just didn't know why or who he was.


And nobody had enough bars on their e-phones to hop on the interwebs and figure it out!


When the show was over, alumni were invited to take part in the improv set (which was very cool) and it was only then, when he was introduced, that we found out the guys name. As you've probably gathered from the title of today's post, it was Richard Kind. You likely recognize him too; he's had a long and prolific career as a character actor and has been in a ton of stuff that you know of have seen.


I don't really have a point here other than it's a strange phenomenon: quasi-fame. I would also like it noted that he was probably the best improviser on the stage for that set.

The Kids in the Hall and the Death of Sketch Comedy

For all you comedy nerds out there (our primary readership, apart from the HERS foundation of course), here is an article about the return of the famous Canadian sketch comedy troupe The Kids in the Hall. They have a new series coming out for the CBC called Death Comes to Town. I would be excited to see it except that I basically have Flintstones television (or, network television) and whatever wireless Internet I’m able to scrounge up, so I’m probably going to have to wait awhile.

Regardless, the article is a very interesting read, not only for the writer’s profession of love for a sketch troupe that is quite deserving of the praise and adulation – I grew up watching them on Comedy Central – but also for the assertion that sketch comedy as an art form is either dead or dying.

“But now who needs a troupe, or a name, or a stage?” laments the author, himself a former sketch comedian from Toronto. “All you need is a digital camera and a firewire.”

Typically over dramatic artsy-person.

There has been an explosion in the last decade or so of sketch comedy videos on the web. So, in a way, I understand the author’s point. Literally anyone can throw up something funny in a comparative short amount of time and get seen by thousands of people. Hell, a group of friends and I used to do the same thing back when we started out here in Chicago. Our group was called Date-Nite, and while the website no longer exists (after we stopped producing shorts, the desire to pay for a website ceased), I believe you can still find some of our shorts floating around on Youtube.

And, as someone who apprenticed for over a year at a legitimate theatre before moving to the city, I’ve spent a lot of time around people worrying that film/television/the Internet is slowly strangling live performance. So I’m used to hearing these concerns.

It’s hard not to agree. With the Internet, with DVDs and Netflix and On Demand and Hulu and whatever else the kids are using these days, entertainment has become more and more convenient. From the audience’s standpoint: why take the time and extra cost to go to a theatre and see something that may or may not be any good when they know they’ll at least mildly enjoy whatever they were going to watch from home? From the performer’s standpoint: if the ultimate goal is to do televised comedy on SNL anyway, why bother with the live performances that get audiences of ten people?

And yet, as anyone in the sketch comedy community can tell you, sketch is not dead. Here in Chicago, a new sketch group is born every five minutes. Hell, take a look at the performer list for this year’s Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival. There are over a hundred sketch troupes taking part, and those are just the groups that made it into the festival.

So what the hell, guys? What are we doing here? Wasting our time while we save up to buy digital cameras?

You probably guessed this already, but being that Robot vs Dinosaur is a sketch comedy troupe and that we’re devoted a considerable amount of time and effort to it, the time has come in this little tangential rant to defend the decision to waste our time with this live performance nonsense despite the evident futility of our actions. So here goes:

I think the reason sketch comedy (and live theatre as well) is still around and not likely to disappear anytime soon is the fact that film and Internet video can’t actually talk to you. By you, I mean ‘you personally’ not ‘you as an audience of millions.’ In the online short world, you personally can’t talk back either. Yeah, you can leave a snarky comment or something on the video message board or something, but there’s no instant communication with the performer the way there is with a laugh or a groan.

This is the only advantage live performance has over filmed performance. You and the performer are both there, at the same time, and that performer is talking to you. There’s no substitute for the charisma of a live performer. Film will forever be better at special effects, breadth and depth of story, setting, notoriety of the performers, etc. etc. etc. Even the best equipped theatres with the highest budgets and the most seasoned actors can only make a dent in what a big budget movie is capable of doing.

Sketch comedy has none of these technical capabilities – most shows are done with nothing more than a couple of chairs – you think that can’t be replicated by some jackass in his basement somewhere in the middle of nowhere?

No, the only advantage you have, fellow sketch comedian, is that your audience is right there in front of you experiencing your show right before your eyes. You can hear where they laugh; you can see their reaction when you’re talking right to them; you can bring them into the experience that is a live show.

When we were putting together Mrs. Gruber, we deliberately tried to play to these strengths. I’d go into detail, but we’re doing the show one more time at Sketch Fest (SHAMELESS PLUG: SATURDAY JANUARY 9TH AT 7:00 PM) and I don’t want to ruin the experience for anyone who hasn’t seen the show yet.

For live sketch comedy to keep its audience and remain vital, it has to be aware of what strengths and advantages they have. Your reward, sketch comedian, is what you learn from having people there in the room with you. You learn where they laugh, what they find funny, what doesn’t work so well, what can be done to improve your performance or your script. In short, you learn all the stuff that you can’t really learn by throwing something out for people half way across the world to watch in the comfort of their own homes.

And with that, I shall end my ridiculously long post. Go forth, sketch comedians, and multiply.

Caption, My Caption

ROBOWRITER'S ASSIGNMENT

Go through a magazine and cut out all the single-panel cartoons. Avoid iconic characters that you may be too familiar with, like Ziggy or Marmaduke and avoid cartoons that don't need or don't have a caption. The joke's already there and it could be creatively problematic when you try to do something different with it. In cutting out the cartoons, remove the captions and throw them away. Use the remaining cartoons as springboards to writing scenes. A great magazine to use for this is The New Yorker. Their cartoons are fairly neutral and hardly ever funny. You don't have to worry about the caption being stuck in your head, because you'll promptly forget it.

I wrote two scenes this week with the exercise, "Oblique Oblige" and "Climate Change."

Join us on Sundays!

Sundays 6:30pm - 8:30pm
Bourgeois Pig Cafe
738 West Fullerton, 2nd floor
A weekly drop-in workshop for sketch comedy writers of all levels. Come to get feedback on a scene you are already working on. Come to get ideas for new scenes. Come to hang out, read scenes, meet other writers. $5.

Chicago Reader Article and, on an Unrelated Note, Dry Humping Shark Mascot!

I posted this already over at my other blog, Clever Title, but I figured what the hell. This is sketch comedy related, and someone other than Chris has to post occasionally.

This is a link to an article from the Chicago Reader featuring interviews with various Chicago educated comedy writers. It's a good way to kill some time, particularly if you want to be a comedy writer.

What else did I want to share with you?

Oh yeah! This:



Now that's some comedy right there.

Comedy-tacular!

This is going to be a stellar weekend of comedy. The TBS "Just For Laughs" festival is happening all over Chicago this weekend. (Not really sure why this event got organized. I guess just for laughs.)

Tonight I'm seeing Brick, a highly acclaimed (and somewhat disbanded?) Chicago sketch comedy group. Sunday it's Michael Showalter, of The State, Stella and (my favorite) The Baxter.

But the coup of grace really happens on Sunday at the Bob Odenkirk and David Cross and Friends and me in the audience show. Aside from an actual Beatles reunion show where John and George were raised from the dead, there is no live show more worth seeing than this one. Just in case anyone who reads this blog is uninitiated to Bob and David, here is a classic Mr. Show sketch.



Here's another picture of Bob Odenkirk with a passerby. (Bob is the white guy who is smiling.)

Theatre of the Lazy

I hope this comes across as a clear, cogent thought and not some ridiculous self-aggrandizing diatribe. At this point, running on three hours of sleep with no good excuse other than I’m a big nerd (“A huge ass book about Lorenzo de’Medici! Wow!”), that’s about all I can hope for.*

This morning, on my usual tour of the local blogosphere, I read a review on Don Hall’s blog of The New American All-Stars in which he basically called out the improv group in question for not caring enough to do a decent show. I haven’t seen the show or the group, so I am not prepared to comment either way on whether or not that was a fair assessment.

I am prepared to comment on the comment section though, which quickly became an opportunity for people to vent their frustrations on Improvisation as an art form. Which I’m certain was not the intention of Don in posting what he posted. But the most prevailing condemnation is that so much Improvisation amounts to “theatre of the lazy.”

While Improvisation and Sketch Comedy are not the same, they are artistic cousins (in Chicago we usually share actors, performance spaces and even bills) and I think that this particular fault can be applied to Sketch as easily as to Improvisation. I’ve only been in Chicago for about three and a half years – not long enough to be a truly opinionated master at anything but long enough to have a few suspicions. And while I’ve seen some great improv and some great sketch comedy in my time here, I’ve also seen a couple (and maybe even been a part) of big steaming piles.

As we here at Robot vs Dinosaur head back to the writer’s room to plan our next show, this post becomes a very good reminder to me of why we formed.

When Joe Janes originally brought all of the writers together during those first primordial writers meeting two years ago, we naturally had that sit-down that every group has where we talked about what we wanted to be as a group. We writers all had varying degrees of experience in the local sketch comedy scene, but the one thing we kept coming back to was our desire to do quality work. We didn’t want to be just a group of people who slapped together a show at the last minute because somehow they had managed to land a Skybox show and needed material, any material, immediately. We wanted to make sure that our shows were unique, well written and well rehearsed.

At the end of countless rewrites, weeks of rehearsal and all, at the very least I have the satisfaction of knowing, regardless of whether the audience loved it or hated it, that what I put out was my best effort.

We also naturally wanted to be funny.

This is not to say that Robot vs. Dinosaur shows are the greatest ever (I would never say that publicly but know that I'm thinking it), but I do think it’s important to remind oneself that quality matters.

I know that we get a couple of people coming to the blog looking for Robowriter’s assignments and so forth. So, for all of you aspiring or practicing comedy writers and actors out there, I guess my point is to commit yourself completely to whatever it is you do and concentrate on making something of the best quality you can. That’s really the only way to get better at what you do.

And… post.

*Note to self: eliminate dangling participles.

NUR Postcard! And a Boringly Lengthy Explanation of How It Was Made

Hey Everybody! Here's the postcard for our new show! Hooray postcard!

So as not to appear like I'm just throwing this up on the ol' robo-blog because I have nothing else to write (which may or may not be the case) here are a couple of boring words about postcard making.

When you are making your postcard, you want to make sure that it ties in with the show concept. You want to make sure it is different enough to draw the casual observer's eye. And finally, you want to make sure everything is legible.

For this particular show we are experimenting with the amount of people that can reasonably be used in a sketch show and to see how that affects the energy of the performance and the experience of the audience.

The cast size affects the postcard design in two ways. First, from a production standpoint RvD has been trying to simplify everything in order to make the logistics as smooth as possible. We're trying to use less props and less costume and really focus on the performances of the talented cast. Second, we have a gigantic list of actors in the show and wanted to make sure we were able to fit all of the actors' names on the postcard.

As a result, we decided to go with a simple layout - title at the top, a stick figure graphic of some type below, and then location information, cast list, and ticket information below. There is very little extraneous information - no show blurb, no clever little jokes - which allows us to use the space effectively and to let the title, graphic and cast size speak to the type of show we have created.

Speaking of which, we decided on the title "¡Run, palindrome, nuR!", which could charitably be described as a unique title for a sketch show. It does require that you know what a palindrome is, so it is just a little bit heady (albeit in a completely stupid way). We were looking for a means of integrating the title with the simplicity of the production and decided on a simple stick figure graphic.

We settled on two stick figures running at one another. The graphic is like a visual palindrome in that the two stick men are mirror images of one another. We also considered trying two stick figures running in the same direction, which would have been fake-clever in the same way as the title, however I think that would have been just a little too clever. So we opted for the collision course stick figures, which I think looks a little more balanced anyway.

A word of caution: if you are going to hand draw your postcards, we certain that whatever text you are writing is correct. I made the mistake of not putting "Fridays" on the original draft of the postcard, as well as making the year 2008, and as a result I had to redraw the whole thing. Luckily, because the postcard is so simple, it didn't take me too long.

So there you have it. Back to your regularly scheduled smart-assed posting tomorrow.

A Tip for Writers

You've come up with a fantastic premise, great characters, and dialogue that rivals Shakespeare's, but you can't figure out how to end the damn thing. Ending a piece is perhaps the most difficult part of writing. Many a hair has been pulled, many a bottle of scotch has been emptied, many a nanny has been savagely made love to because of the frustration of conjuring a cogent coda.

Worry no more, my friends! I have solved the vexing vat of something beginning with"v." My technique is called "...And Then the World Blew Up and Everybody Died." I call it that because, at the end of the story, the world blows up and everybody dies. It's an all-purpose ending, perfect for any occasion. Frank and Matilda have gotten back together after a ten-year separation - what is the perfect end-line that encapsulates both the ecstasy of renewed possibility and the agony of missed opportunity? We will never know because Hayley's Comet slammed into the Caribbean Sea and then the world blew up and everybody died.

What's that feeling? It's the satisfaction of the perfect resolution. Try my technique the next time you get stuck on en ending. I guarantee success. Hey, it worked for the Bible!

New RvD Sketch Comedy Revue - "¡Run, palindrome, nuR!"

"¡Run, palindrome, nuR!"
An Experiment In Numbers

What happens when you throw 18 actors all on one stage, jam them into uncomfortable positions, and bounce them off of each other until they don't know whether they are going forward or backward? RvD will show you! And no matter what happens, the experiments won’t stop until you look over your shoulder and shout "¡Run, palindrome, nuR!"

Fridays at 7:30 p.m.
April 24th through May 22nd

Donny’s Skybox Theatre
1608 North Wells Street
Chicago, Illinois

TICKETS
$12 General Admission
$10 Students
$6 Training Center Students
By phone: 312-337-3992
Or on the web at The Second City Box Office

Written and Directed by Robot vs. Dinosaur

Featuring:
Sugar Babe
Mike Bauman
Zoe Daniels
Chip Davis
Jules Duffy
Courtney Fontaine
Anthony Greene
Susie Gutowski
Martha Hearn
Claudia Henao
George Hubbard Jr.
Andrew Kraft
Jim McDoniel
Bethany Remely
Sarah Shockey
Connor Tillman
Mary Cait Walthall
Douglas Werder

STOA

We should all aspire to be as good as "Bob and Ray." These guys were experts at taking simple premises and working magic with them without belaboring them. On SNL, this scene would be four minutes long and the slow talker would become a recurring character - hey, let's make him a 911 operator next week! If I saw this script on paper, I would be very worried - unrealistic premise, why is this guy even being interviewed, would actors be able to handle this without killing all that could be funny in it? But it's Bob and Ray and it works for them. Check them out. Their characters names rival Dickens for originality and revealing personality. They are also not vulgar (Chris) and never use shock tactics to get laughs.

Make Someone Else's World Your Own

ROBOWRITER'S ASSIGNMENT - This is a genre exercise. Sort of a sideways parody. Take an existing franchise in any medium – Pirates of the Caribbean, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek, Lost, The Dark Tower, etc – and write a scene that takes place in that world, but does not involve any of their main characters. The characters used should be either peripheral or completely created by you. For example, write a scene featuring janitors on the USS Enterprise or some of those nameless faces of Lost. The challenge is to use that world without calling it out specifically or depending on the audience’s familiarity with said world. The key is to tend to the scenework and not make it into a nudge-nudge-wink-wink reference-palooza.

The Greatest Title Ever . . . TITLED!

The choosing of a title for a show is tricky business. The way RvD usually does it is very scientific--via email. Once we have an idea for a theme, we more or less just start blurting out random titles via email lists that go back and forth between us, until we get a few that stick. At a certain point, someone (usually the director) narrows the list down and sends out the finalists and we vote, then we find out which title we chose, then we send some more insulting emails, then we all learn to love our new title.

Our first show, “The Greatest Stories Never Told . . . TOLD!” got it’s name two ways. One was the fact that we were doing a show about myths, legends, stories and such, hence the title “The Greatest Stories Never Told” which was also a play on the phrase a lot of people use when referring to the Bible. The “TOLD!” part was stolen from one of the sketches I wrote “The Most Glorious Battle Ever!” One of the running jokes in that sketch was a group of soldiers kept yelling back the last word of every sentence. All in all we thought the title captured the playfullness of the show, as well as the theme. And it never hurts to have an exclamation point in your title. That probably sold at least ten tickets on its own.

Anyway, for your reading pleasure, below is the list of random titles that got tossed around for “The Greatest Stories Never Told . . . TOLD!" Some of these are pretty funny and a few are inside jokes (I’m pretty sure we never considered naming the show “Nat Topping - World Fucker Extraordinaire”). I highlighted my favorites.

Robot vs. Dinosaur vs. History
Tales Tall and Wide
Yarns Yet Spun
Indiana Jones is a Pansy
I'd Like Too See You Do Better!
No Campfire Required
While You Were Learning Real History…
Rambling Rambles
Steven Spielberg's "Amazing Stories"
Like Basket Weaving, But With Stories
Weaving Stories
Two In The Pink, One In The History
Historical Shocker
Truth Be Told?
Nat Topping – World Fucker Extraordinaire
Your History Sucks
Adventures in History
Shit Biscuits and Butter Turds
Forgettable Moments in History
Enya Has a Harp-on
RvD's World-Wide Story Book
Chris Othic presents: "Chris Othic Sucks a Donkey Deuce" or A True Story
Robot Vs. Dinosaur Eats Your History Teacher
Robot Vs. Dinosaur Offends History
Journey to the Top of the World - The Greatest Title Ever
Nat Topping: "I'm Wasting Your Time"
Historic Lies
The Best We Have to Offer - A Tragedy
Inspirational Stories of Hope - or - Shut up and Quit Whining
History Retreats Itself
History Reheats Itself
The Penis Mightier
Myth and Friction
History Is Good, But Our Story Is Better
Tall Tales and Wide
Two Polar Bears Fucking
The Most Glorious Stories Ever Told . . . TOLD!
An Adventurer Walks Into A Bar . . .
History = Or Shity
Don’t Know Much About History
Remember This, Asshole?
That Didn’t Happen
Going to the Picaresque Show
The Last (and First) Picaresque Show
Old Male Tales
Great Balls of History
Historical Friction
Before There Were Electric Shavers
Bartles & James Present...More Yarns than a Cat Hole
Before the Trombone Rusted
A Corncob Pipe and a Butthole Nose
The Fake Adventures of White Men