Friday, May 8, 2009

Mid-Year's Resolutions

The title says it all. Maybe sometime I'll think of positive things to add to my life. For now I prefer to cancel things out. Here are some things I'm going to stop doing:
  • Thanking the person who is no more than 3 feet in front of me for holding the door open behind him for a half-second. At that distance, I am really only thanking him for not being rude, and that does not warrant a 'thank you'.
  • Running because I'm late for something. I will reserve running for saving my own life or that of another.
  • Signing emails "Best,". What do I really mean by that?
  • Playing Monopoly on my iPod. I'm tired of exploiting the glitches in the game that guarantee I will always win. I've exhausted the possibilities of gameplay even to the point of playing a benevolent landlord with hotels on every property who replenishes the funds of the other players whenever they get below $10,000. Plus, while callouses are cool for guitar players, it is lame to build them up on your iPod's wheel.
  • High-fiving Chris Othic's wife, Mary, just to make Chris jealous. I haven't even started doing this yet, but I've been considering starting. Assuming she would allow me. I presume nothing. If I don't live up to any of the things on this list, it will be this item.
  • Saying "uh" instinctively when I don't really need to. (Example: A waiter asks me if I want more water. I say "Uh, yeah," when what I really meant was "But of course."
  • Checking daily to see the status of my hold requests. They will send me an email when my item is ready for pick-up.
  • Thinking about how to end this post.

1 comment:

Chris Othic said...

I would appreciate it if all writers and would be comedians would stop high-fiving my wife. I know it seems like fun, and she is an excellent high-fiver, but it just seems wrong.

Of course, she is an independent woman, and ultimately the choice to high-five another person is hers.

I always preferred to give her the low-three myself.