Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Farmer Doesn't Take A Wife

I love Facebook and I love the way people will simply bare their souls on the internet these days. Consider this true story of Alvin Miller and Jill Redding (not their real names) that is based on an actual Facebook page that I stumbled across, with some slight editing to protect the innocent and keep you from getting too bored. I assure you that 99 percent of this is absolutely taken verbatim from Facebook. Before you begin reading this quite compelling combination of lost love and farming minutia, please note this whole sequence of events occurred in less than three months and that “Alvin Miller” actually posted all of this on the internet, for his close to 300 Facebook friends to read. Also note that Alvin is in his early 30’s, not some 18 year old school boy pining away for his first love. Lastly, please note that you are reading this in reverse chronological order, which I think is the best way to read it. And now we begin TODAY at 2:38 p.m.

Alvin Miller loading out soybeans and loading gooseneck with machinery to head south for a week. once again single..2:38pm

Alvin Miller changed his Relationship Status to Single.

Alvin Miller changed his Looking For.

Alvin Miller Its final i am done with jill. she used me to get what she wanted. Time to move on. I am single once again. - Yesterday at 2:18am

Alvin Miller been home catching up on sleep. thinking about what a ''wise mother hen'' said - Sat 6:19pm

Alvin Miller headed for south dakota. doing some thinking - May 21 at 3:38pm

Alvin Miller just arrived at sale in Mondale, montana. buy some stuff and head to wyoming to unload and load and head home.still missing and confused with jill. - May 21 at 12:17 p.m.

Alvin Miller Missoula Montana bound for sale, then to Cheyenne, wy to deliver tractors, then back to mn. stopped in custer for night. i’m exhausted. still confused - May 21 at 12:11am

Alvin Miller montana bound with load of tractors. missing jill. relationship on hold so she can think. windy as hell - May 20 at 11:11am

Alvin Miller back in mn. missing jill, just friends while she thinks about us. - May 20 at 8:23am

Alvin Miller barely missed a wreck. anhydrous tanker crashed in front of me in Sioux city. back on road. damn crazy drivers. - May 20 at 7:29am

Comment: Wise Mother Hen at 9:08am May 20 - one should not be texting and driving! -- very dangerous!

Alvin Miller about 2 hours from home. missing jill, but our relationship is on hold May 20 at 5:51am ·

Alvin Miller almost to nebraska and home. then to montana. miss jill but to give our relationship a break, but not giving up - May 20 at 5:37am · ·

Alvin Miller Headed back to nebraska. got all stuff taken care of in kansas. thinking about jill - May 19 10:26pm · ·

Alvin Miller Headed to the ranch. thinking about jill and what she just said. i have alot to look forward to. i am glad to here from her.but not outta the woods yet. maybe heading to montana wednesday. thanks to all my friends that care - May 19 7:06pm · ·

Alvin Miller giving jill time to think. headed to Casper with cattle. i will wait for jill and prove myself to jill - May 19 5:06pm · · ·

Comment: Wise Mother Hen at 8:20pm May 18 - geez, Alvin, there are other fish in the sea!

Alvin Miller now planting beans. wondering what is going on in jills head. why the sudden change. im still confused and my heart aches. i just wish she would talk to me. then id understand. im learning u cant run from ur problems. u have to confront them and deal with them as they come. i care about jill and wish she would let wall down long enough to talk things out. im not a quiter. - Mon 11:30am

Comment: Harold Johnson at 11:37am May 18 - stay strong man! your not a quitter

Alvin Miller is headed to field. try not to think about things with jill. i dont understand her and guess when shes ready shell talk. my heart aches and still confused. i know there are hurdles in life but where does this hell end. i care and love jill. i know relationships have bumps, but arent people to talk things out and not hide. thanks everyone - Mon 5:58am

Alvin Miller im totally lost and dont know where to turn or no one to talk too. my girifriend is mad at me. fan belt is coming apart on tractor. my heart aches and im confussed. nothing seems what it is. - May 17 at 8:44pm

Comment: Joan Alice Stevens at 9:29pm May 17 - Little bumps in the road happen. It's how you get around them that counts

Comment: Sharon Peters at 9:37pm May 17 via Facebook Mobile - You seem like a hard-working, caring individual! Just remember tomorrow is a new day!

Comment: Alex Wright at 11:21pm May 17 - Alvin, Tracy and I will be praying for you. If there is anything you need, let us know. Read Rom 8:28 and all of I Peter for encouragement.

Comment: Bobby McNultey at 12:30am - May 18 - Call me tomorrow if you need to. I'm off work.

Alvin Miller is still trying to figure my life out. whats the point of life. i dont know any thing any more. u do ur best and still fail. im at a loss - May 17 at 4:19pm

Comment: Jack Bell at 5:47pm May 17 - Keep your head up Brother!!!!

Comment: Alvin Miller at 8:47pm May 17 via Facebook Mobile - thanks ive always looked up to u

Alvin Miller trying to figure out my life - May 17 at 12:19pm

Comment: Sharon Peters at 12:33pm May 17 via Facebook Mobile - Alvin, you certainly aren't the only one trying to figure life out! Have faith!

Wise Mother Hen at 1:34pm May 17 - Alvin - I need to talk to you later tonight - call me.

Alvin Miller waiting for it to dry a little to work treflon in ground one more time. had light shower this am. hoping to talk to jill again to day - May 17 at 9:02am

Alvin Miller broke down till late tonight. going to dinner with jill - May 16 at 5:45pm

Alvin Miller still working treflon in ground and cleaning the grove. going to start planting beans in morning. cant wait to see jill tonight. its only been 3 days but feels like eternity. she makes me so happy. - May 16 at 1:31pm · ·

Alvin Miller working ground with 9390 case ih stieger with 50 foot field cultivator. trying to work in Treflon, so we can plant beans. its colder than hell. 30 degrees now and windy. cant wait to see jill tomarrow nite. - May 15 at 11:38pm

May 14 at 12:34am · ShareAlvin Miller cruising backroads and spending time with jill - May 13 at 10:13pm

Alvin Miller bought another truck for family truck & praying it wont rain but its windy as hell - May 12 at 9:48pm

Alvin Miller is applying treflon to bean ground & going to buy new truck - May 12 at 9:15am

Alvin Miller shutting down for the nite. sleep - May 12 at 1:07am · ·

Alvin Miller is putting trephlon on bean ground. then its back to the stieger to work ground - May 11 at 7:19pm

Alvin Miller Picking up rocks, planting corn, and wishing jill was here to keep me company - May 11 at 1:48pm

Comment: Wise Mother Hen at 1:55pm May 11 - still have time to text huh??

Comment: Alvin Miller at 7:15pm May 11 via Facebook Mobile - no just waiting for fertilizer

Alvin Miller relaxing. thinking about my girls jill & betsy. watching for wolves tonight. we are ready - May 9 at 11:33pm

Alvin Miller spraying thistles and being bored. too damn muddy to do anything - May 9 at 3:07pm

Alvin Miller is relaxing after dinner and walmart with jill & betsy - May 9 at 1:14am · ·

Alvin Miller headed to field to disc corn stalks , while 32 row planter plants corn - May 8 at 7:35am

Comment: Archie Gathers at 3:05pm May 8 - little early for bean's here....too wet

Comment: Alvin Miller at 1:11am - May 9 via Facebook Mobile - not here. but we got 4500 acres corn planted and 700 acres to go. runnin a 36 & 24 row corn planter. rain today put us behind. neighbor has new johndeere 48 row corn planter . all 30 inch rows

Alvin Miller cleaning out grove. got jill a diamond - May 7 at 6:42pm · ·

Alvin Miller is wanting to see jill - May 6 at 11:27pm · ·

Alvin Miller is missing jill. hauling beans to fill contract. trying to get farm work done in rain - May 6 at 10:12am · ·

Alvin changed his Looking For. · ·

Alvin is in a relationship with Jill Redding. · ·

Alvin Miller missing Jill. will hopefully be in field wed. if no rain tonight. otherwise back to picking up damn rocks - May 5 at 11:15pm

Jill Redding likes this.

Comment: Jill Redding at 12:03am May 6 - I kinda sort of miss you to.

Alvin Miller missing Jill. loading out contract beans and corn. we got 24 & 32 row corn planters ready to go. - May 5 at 9:04pm · ·

Alvin Miller missing jill, and working on equipment. hope it will dry out from rain last nite. ready to get crops all in - May 5 at 8:32am · · ·

Alvin Miller missing my girlfriend, thinking about all time we spent together - May 3 at 11:24pm · ·

Alvin Miller back at farm. getting ready to plant corn tomarrow - May 1 at 7:42pm · ·

Alvin Miller checking the herd atop my horse. with new dodge in barn at base camp. excited to see my girlfriend. shes driving out to see me - April 30 at 12:59am

Comment: Jill Redding at 10:38pm May 3 - Do you have another girlfriend I do not know about? And where is the new dodge I mean I did drive a ford this weekend and it could have been a dodge. And what the heck are you doing checking the herd atop a horse at 12:59 am....

Alvin Miller at 11:20pm May 3 via Facebook Mobile - when were at Cheyenne. i told u i had a ford. no other girlfriend but u

Alvin Miller working at farm and relaxing a little - April 27 at 10:57pm · ·

Alvin Miller Hauiing ass across badlands.loaded. snowing in blackhills. semi is dragging in wind - April 27 at 12:25am · ·

Alvin Miller is enjoying life with my girlfriend and Im on cloud nine. she makes me so happy and complete. - April 22 at 10:38pm · ·

Alvin Miller my new girlfriend is the best thing to come into my life. she makes me so happy. - April 19 at 5:05pm · ·

Alvin Miller i had the most spetacular time last nite. with the most beautiful and caring woman that has ever come into my life. - April 19 at 10:49am · ·

Alvin Miller enjoying my time with new girlfriend. im so happy - April 19 at 10:40am

Comment: Liz Orman Turner at 11:01am April 19 - hey glad to see your happy! everyone deserves to be happy!

Alvin Miller at 5:02pm April 19 via Facebook Mobile

thanksAlvin Miller on April 19 at 12:34am

Alvin Miller at 10:51am April 19

Picture of couple was here

Comment by Alvin Miller: me and my lady

Jill Redding at 6:37pm April 19 - That is one great looking couple if I do say so myself!!

Alvin Miller at 8:30pm April 19 - Yes it is. she is one hot lady. and best thing to happen to me. i wish i could be with her more than what i am

Jill Redding I am super excited for our date tomarrow.. Hope you are having a awesome day!! - April 17 at 7:44pm

RECENT ACTIVITY

Alvin Miller getting ready for spring planting - April 14 at 7:56am · ·

Alvin Miller hauling manure and baby sitting - April 13 at 9:51pm · ·

Alvin Miller relaxing and do nothinh - April 12 at 8:23pm · ·

Alvin Miller hauling combines - April 11 at 8:29am · ·

Alvin Miller got semi in high hole headed to redfield, sd with load of tractors.at least its sunny and no wind, but cold. - April 7 at 10:19am · ·

Alvin Miller playing on snowmobiles and busting snow drifts with truck trying to get to farm. - April 5 at 1:21pm · ·

Alvin Miller in another blizzard - April 4 at 8:15pm · ·

Alvin Miller feeding and pulling calves in damn cold - April 1 at 7:05pm · ·

Alvin Miller is in another damn blizzard in northcentral dakotas. when does this stop? - March 30 at 7:49pm · ·

Alvin Miller Enjoying life like its my last. hanging out at lake of woods - March 29 at 7:33pm · ·

Alvin Miller taking it easy after sticking cutoff wheel in leg and getting stiches - March 26 at 11:06am · ·

Alvin Miller hating the blizzard in black hills.wishing for sunshine. - March 22 at 6:44pm · ·

Alvin Miller enjoying mountain weather - March 19 at 3:00pm · ·

Alvin Miller enjoying spring weather in dakotas - March 17 at 1:16pm · ·

Alvin Miller enjoying weather in dakotas,girls,& beer - March 15 at 7:13pm · ·

Alvin Miller driving my new baby blue pete and cattle pot, headed for feed yard in montana - March 14 at 12:01pm · ·

Alvin Miller working in montana - March 13 at 12:16pm · ·

Alvin Miller headed to get other farm truck - March 10 at 10:20am · ·

Alvin Miller At ford getting warranty work done, needs new motor. waiting on JUNEBUG to come get me patiently. - March 10 at 8:11am · ·

Alvin Miller Evaluating hail damage to my truck. damn golf ball size hail - March 8 at 12:32pm · ·

Alvin Miller got to pick up D-19 allis chalmers tractor in 7hrs with mark - March 8 at 4:22am · ·

Alvin Miller headed home with big daddy on our back door, with hammer down - March 8 at 4:20am · ·

Alvin Miller should have stopped when max told me too. i broke even, had a great time with my date - March 8 at 4:18am · ·

Alvin Miller partying in wyomingFebruary 28 at 4:39pm

Alvin edited his Hometown, Interests and Looking For.

Alvin is now single.

You and Jill Redding like this. Jill Redding likes this.

4 comments:

Gamer18548 said...

Really cool and interesting. I think there's an interesting short story in here - you get first dibs on fictionalizing it!

Chris Othic said...

Thanks Gamer, you are probably right. I actually read this out loud to a small group over the weekend, interjecting some commentary along the way, and the folks loved it. It might even work as a stage piece.

I just think it's insane how much people are willing to share about themselves on the internet. It just leaves me shaking my head . . . and thinking of jill.

Mike Bauman said...

When the lawsuit comes, I want it known that I had nothing to do with this.

Nat Topping said...

Does this win the award for LONGEST BLOG POST EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FREAKING MANKIND?!?!