Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The ethics of mixing your meats

Are you confused? Surprise! It's not Sunday! It's Tuesday. I'm home sick from work, so I figured this was the perfect time to catch up on the blogging I was supposed to do two days ago.

I spent the latter half of my Valentine's Day evening engaged in a bitter debate over the ethics of mixing meat on a sandwich (a battle brought on by this admittedly awesome website ). I, for one, am fundamentally opposed to combining meats. And I think the fact that I'm not a big meat eater is irrelevant. Why mess with nature more than you already have by creating a twisted intermingling of flavors, colors and consistencies? Ham is slimy. Turkey is rough. Chicken is bumpy. Everything else is sort of like Play-Doh. All of it together creates a mish-mash of insides... the entire animal kingdom flattened between two pieces of stone-ground wheat bread. I won't even venture to explain what flimsy arguments the opposing side used to buoy their views. It all came down to different ways of saying, "But it tastes good."

I doubt it. What you have created is a hand-held barnyard. And there is no way that tastes good.

4 comments:

Chris Othic said...

As an enthusiastic meat eater, I must vehemently disagree. Combining meats is a natural and delicious way to enjoy more than one flavor at a time. I ask you: Would we not combine vegetables in a salad? Would we not combine cheeses on a cheese platter? Would we not combine alcohols in a Long Island Iced Tea?

And to say that we are messing with nature is beside the point. I ask you: Have you ever added bacon to anything? It makes everything better. As exhibit A, I give you the bacon cheeseburger. A cheeseburger alone, delicious. Add bacon and you are creating a masterpiece.

In nature, if a wolf were in a barnyard dining on the carcass of a cow and in the barnyard down the way there was the carcass of a pig, do not think for one minute that the wolf would not like to get those two together in the same barnyard at the same time?

Turducken, I will grant you, is an abomonation.

Nat Topping said...

I believe point goes to Chris by virtue of the Bacon Cheeseburger proof.

That said, there are certain combinations that do not work well together. For instance, it is hard to pair duck with another meat.

Crump said...

The website you mentioned - http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/ - bottom of page 2 - The Garbage Plate. I have eaten many of these, and they are magical. Indigenous to the Rochester, New York area they are a right of passage for any drunk college student residing there. Nick Tahou's is where it originated, but I think Empire Hots still has my favorite. If you are ever in Rochester, New York 1) get yourself drunk (if nothing else it helps you deal with the fact you are in Rochester) 2) go get a garbage plate 3) eat it and feel what heaven is like 4) wander to the closest Wegmans supermarket and begin stealing bulk candy.

Nat Topping said...

Holy God, Crump, I've eaten some awful things in my day but how are you still alive?