I was on the ol' craigslist and found this job post:
"2nd Shooter Needed for Wedding on Sept 19"
I assume they are looking for a second photographer (aka shooter) for the wedding, but frankly I am to scared to click on the post as I half expect to see something like:
Jilted lover looking for a second shooter to back me up at my bitch-face cunt ex-girlfriends upcoming wedding. God, I love her so much! How could she betray me like this?! If I can't have her, NO ONE CAN! I decided the only way we will ever get to be together is in the sweet arms of death. I need a second shooter to ensure that the job gets done properly, as I will probably by in such a tear-ridden rage that I may very well miss the shot. You must be comfortable with heights and confined spaces as you'll be perched in a church bell tower for at least 10 to 12 hours. FUCK YOU SHONDA! NO ONE LOVES YOU LIKE I DO!
I will need tested proof of your shooting ability. Ex-army or marine preferred. Timing and preciseness is absolutely necessary as we need to get the groom first so I can see that fucker go down, then my ex Shonda that BITCH, and then you shoot me as I don't believe in suicide. The second part of the deal involves you stealing mine and Shonda's corpses and burying them together in a pre-dug grave. We'll get more into those details as well as payment arrangements when we meet. Serious inquires only. No cops.