Live Blogging the AFC Championship Game

Hooray for sports! Today, I shall live blog the AFC Championship Game between the Indianapolis football players and the New York football players.


3:20 pm - I just turned on the game. The Jets' coach is quite obese.

3:21 pm - The Jets' football kicker just made a successful football kick. The score is now 17-6 in favor of the green guys.

3:23 pm - If this was a soccer match, Indianapolis would have to score 12 times to win.

3:25 pm - God bless you, Michael Phelps, but I would not swim through a sidewalk to get a Subway sandwich. Maybe for Long John Silvers.

3:28 pm - If you threw a ball like that in a hospital, you would be arrested. 17-13 in favor of New Jersey.

3:31 pm - I fear that I have eaten too much hummus.

3:32 pm - Halftime. Colts coach Jim Caldwell is talking to CBS sideline reporter Steve Tasker. Mr. Caldwell, if you want to succeed in the Super Bowl, don't stand so close to a Buffalo Bill.

3:40 pm - Holy shit! My landlord is sawing a hole in the basement door. I wonder if Peyton Manning could throw a football through the hole. Perhaps that is why my landlord is hacking the door to pieces.

3:42 pm - Was that a finger that just flew by?

3:50 pm - "The long ball" sounds like a painful disease.

3:53 pm - The Jets miss a 52-yard field goal. You know what Leprechauns like? A 52-yard "feel gold." I have a million of them.

3:53 pm - A million jokes, not Leprechauns. Don't assume that I have any organizational powers over Leprechauns just because of my Irish heritage.

3:59 pm - Things you hear in both football and porn: "He's going for the big one. It's over his head."

4:01 pm - An extra point by 87-year old Matt Stover makes it 20-17 in favor of the ones from the land of corn.

4:02 pm - Time to get the laundry. The NFL has assured me that no important plays will be made whilst I sort my wife's socks.

4:13 pm - More footbally things.

4:14 pm - The wife wants the computer, so I'll assume a final score of 83-40 in favor of the Catholics.