Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Beersgiving - Not Just Another Made Up Holiday

I love me a made up holiday. Why, here at RvD we have made up one already. Then there's my own personal favorite, Steak and Blowjob Day. I can do without Sweetest Day, which I consider to be a poor ripoff of Valentine's Day (sidenote: I think Valentine's Day is a made up holiday, too).

But now I would like to announce the creation of your new favorite made up holiday, Beersgiving.

Beersgiving had a humble beginning three years ago at the Billy Goat Tavern at Washington and Franklin. It started as an annual after-work drinking event to be held on the evening before Thanksgiving. There are not many traditions yet, but it's a young holiday and we're working on it. The first and foremost tradition on which the holiday was founded is this: You must give a beer to a stranger.

Below is a photo essay of this year's Beersgiving, which is much more family friendly than the photo essay I had planned for Steak and Blowjob Day.

This is the Beersgiving Bush, a new tradition started just this year. Legend has it that I planted all the bottlecaps from last year's Beersgiving, and they grew into this beautiful bush. The funnest part of having this tradition is going up to people throughout the evening and saying "You want to look at my Bush? It's not very big, but next year it should be even bigger! "

The three founding members of Beersgiving: Kevin Kurnik, me, and Cathy Martino. Kevin is the one with the porn star moustache. We are to Beersgiving as the three wise men are to Christmas--if the three wise men brought Jesus MGD, Bud Light and Miller Lite, that is.

This is where it all started, Billy Goat Tavern on Washington and Franklin.

This is Mike Kobus, who had the honor of buying the first bucket of the night. There should be a special name for this person, like First Beer Man or something. We're working on it.
I was mad because I wanted the honor, but Mike beat me to the bar.

The Beersgiving seal is broken. I was the first Beergiver of the night when I bought a bucket of Bud Light for this table. I was so excited I forgot their names, so I'm calling them Bud Light Drinker Number 1 and Bud Light Drinker Number 1's Friend.

At some point in the night George Lopez stopped by to pimp his new show, Lopez Tonight, which you can watch every weeknight at 11/10 central, only on TBS! (Okay, really that is Raul Contreras, who added a little international flair to our holiday, because he drinks Corona and talks about soccer.)
These are the first seeds for next year's Beersgiving Bush.
From humble beginnings . . .

This is our group right before we broke into our rendition of a Beersgiving carol. Well, okay, there are no carols, maybe next year. We're still trying to think of words that rhyme with beer.

"Ha Ha! First Beer Man in the house! Or am I the guy from the Six Flags commercials?"

Another tradition is our annual drop in by a Jerry Lewis impersonator. "Laaaaaaadddyyyyyyyyy!" (That's really Mark Delaney--softball coach extraordinaire. I know this because that's how he introduces himself.)

More seeds . . .
This is what the Beersgiving Bush should look like by the end of Beersgiving. Blurry is the new black.

"Hey, did I mention my new show, Lopez Tonight, which is on every weeknight at 11/10 central, only on TBS?"

This was the man of the night, our waiter, Robert Lee Jones. He is like Santa, if Santa delivered you beers for the last three years in a row. I think drinking from the MGD he is holding is akin to sitting on Santa's lap.

Suck on this Santa--you were never a Billy Goat Tavern Employee of the Month!

Some of the gang has moved in on another table to buy them their traditional beers. The lady in the stripey sweater is Susan Wissmiller, a Beersgiving Virgin. I think she is complimenting this guy on his shirt while Mark tells him he is a softball coach extraordinaire.

A common facial expression near the end of Beersgiving.

Another satisfied Beer Receiver--Fancy Shirt Guy. Beersgiving is all about naming people based on what they wear, what they are drinking, or--forget it, I can't think of anything funnier than this shirt.

This is the traditional Beersgiving Feast. A cheezeborger. No fries, cheeps!

We have finally surpassed last year's total of seeds. That's gonna be some Bush! (I believe all of the Bud Light caps are mine . . . )

Urination is a really, really big part of this holiday, but I thought this picture was unnecessary.
"And blurry visions of MGD danced through his head."

This is the unfortunate (and oblivious) Beersgiving Waif. It seems none of the guys wanted to buy her a beer, even if she offered to share her Vitner's BBQ Potato Chips. That's just not in the spirit of Beersgiving.

This is Cathy's "Okay, the fake holiday is over" look. Beersgiving Grinch, maybe?


"All right, all right, I'll watch your talk show, Lopez Tonight, every weeknight at 11/10 central, only on TBS. Give it a rest."

The last thing I want to say is, if you don't think Beersgiving is a real holiday, consider this: I did not have a hangover on Thursday morning. IT'S A BEERSGIVING MIRACLE!

1 comment:

Nat Topping said...

Wow! That Beersgiving bush is possibly the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Congratulations!