Ten Little-Known Facts About John Adams

I missed the opportunity a couple Fridays ago, on October 30, to celebrate the 274th birthday of John Adams, one of my all-time favorite presidents. Here are some fun facts about the man.

1. When his sailing ship to France nearly capsized in rough seas, used his pantaloons to create impromptu inflatable life raft. Then accidentally popped it with his razor-sharp toenails.
2. Routinely hid George Washington’s teeth before big speeches.
3. Ironically enough, though he abhorred slavery, he loved nothing more than writing letters to good friends.
4. On separate occasions, shared a bed with Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and Labyrinth-era David Bowie.
5. Was the first president to (1) live in the White House, (2) do away with his powdered wig, and (3) to make it to the buffet table.
6. Bowling legend Dick Weber won his third PBA title whilst using a life mask of an 87-year old John Adams in place of a ball.
7. Invented “twooting,” a childish bed prank where a person farts into his hand, sucks the fart into his mouth, then blows it into the face of his bed partner.*
8. Died July 4, 1826, the same day as Thomas Jefferson. But rock ’n’ roll will never die. It is here to stay.
9. Before settling on “Peacefield” as the name for his estate’s garden, played around with the names “The Land of Milk and Hiney”, “Tee-hee, George Washington Wants To Mount Vernon”, and “Shitfarm.”
10. Was misled by the authors of the Alien and Sedition Acts which he endorsed. Sincerely believed that Martians were planning an insurrection on the U.S. government.
    

* Confirmed by the memoirs of Abigail Adams and Labyrinth-era David Bowie.