Saturday, November 7, 2009

An Incredibly Unfunny Waste of Time


Have you ever wondered how incredibly unfunny it would be to take the titles of the works of Dr. Seuss and replace one word in each title with the word "hysterectomy?" Let's find out!

And to Think That I Hysterectomy It on Mulberry Street

The Hysterectomy Hats of Batholomew Cubbins

The King's Hysterectomy

The Seven Hysterectomy Godivas

Horton Hatches the Hysterectomy

McElligot's Hysterectomy

Thidwick the Big-Hearted Hysterectomy

Scrambled Eggs Hysterectomy!

Horton Hears a Hysterectomy

How the Hysterectomy Stole Christmas

The Cat in the Hysterectomy

One Hysterectomy Two Hysterectomy Red Hysterectomy Blue Hysterectomy

Green Eggs and Ham

Hysterectomy on Pop

Hysterectomy in Socks

I Can Hysterectomy 30 Tigers Today! and Other Stories

There's a Hysterectomy in My Pocket

I Can Hysterectomy With My Eyes Shut

Oh, the Places You'll Hysterectomy!


That wasn't worth it at all.

16 comments:

Smiggedy Jiggetts said...

No more whiskey for you, young man.

Nat Topping said...

I don't know; there's something about "One Hysterectomy Two Hysterectomy Red Hysterectomy Blue Hysterectomy" that just rolls off the tongue.

Nora W. Coffey, HERS Foundation said...

It couldn't be more incredibly unfunny.

Hysterectomy is the most commonly performed non-obstetric surgery in the U.S. A woman's uterus is removed every minute of every hour of every day.

The uterus is a hormone responsive reproductive sex organ that supports the bladder and bowel. The vagina is shortened, cut into and suture shut at the top. Women who experience uterine orgasm will not experience it without a uterus.

When only the uterus is removed women have a 3X greater incidence of cardiovascular disease. When the ovaries are removed the incidence is 7X greater than it is in intact women.

Do you think that it would be merely "unfunny" if we were talking about the amputation of male sex organs and replacing a word in the title of Dr. Seuss books with penilectomy? It would undoubtedly be unthinkable.

You could use humor in other ways to show that hysterectomy is damaging and that women are virtually never given the information required for informed consent. But this is more than unfunny, it makes light of a damaging surgery that has been done to 22 million living women.

If you ever want to work on a satirical play that conveys the horror of how this surgery ruins lives I would gladly discuss and possibly collaborate with you. First go to http://www.hersfoundation.org and read the "Adverse Effects Data", watch the "Female Anatomy Video", and click on the blog to read what women say about how hysterectomy has affected their lives.

Let the buyer beware.

Nora W. Coffey, President
HERS Foundation

Mad as Hell said...

Sadly, too many people make light of hysterectomy. In spite of it being so common, there's nothing funny or "unfunny" about it. It's a permanently damaging surgery that ruins women's lives and those of their loved ones.

Women, as well as men, deserve and need to know the truth about the many physical, mental, emotional and sexual adverse effects of hysterectomy. The fall-out has implications for all of society.

I challenge you to put the spotlight on hysterectomy in a way that does justice to the horrific surgery it is. I hate to think of another generation of women whose lives are ruined by sex organ amputation. And my blood boils to think of another generation of gynecologists and other medical professionals getting rich as a result.

The only website I've found (sadly, too late) that tells the truth about hysterectomy and castration is http://hersfoundation.com/. View the female anatomy DVD, the adverse effects data and read real women's stories of how they were mutilated after being deceived by M.D.'s.

I'm sure your life would be ruined too if your sex organs were removed.

Anonymous said...

Please do not make light of about a dreadfully serious and hurtful surgery still being legally practiced on innocent women. Instead support the HERS Foundation.

Belle said...

Oh Boy...

Well, Nora Coffey, Mad as Hell, and Anonymous summed this up really well already, but let me add; as I am one who personally damaged by having a needless Hysterectomy, and perhaps this is what I will focus, but do concentrate on what these others have said...

I had a Hyst. in 2003, and only for two small fibroids in my uterus. The doctor insisted, due to heavy bleeding over the few months prior; I could not afford to have another period, and get "too anemic". He also wanted to remove, at the same time, my healthy ovaries, my appendix, and a 'birthmark' on my labia. He said, "As long as I am in there, why not take your ovaries, your appendix, and remove that black (mole like)thing on your labia?" It was not malignant either, and my husband never minded. I kind of thought it 'special', and did never bother me. But, getting back to the Hyst., and wanting to take my ovaries and appendix - when all so unnecessary to remove. I was never given alternatives. He was a doctor I put faith into and trusted, and he scared me into believing this was the only answer to eliminate the heavy bleeding. How awful of him to not give me other choices, and there were! See, I am one also who found out about the Hers Foundation and Nora Coffey and Rick Schweikert TOO LATE!

Now, my life has been completely changed and ruined with my body. I also already had a nerve disease (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy - RSD), and this doctor knew this; yet he still forced me into the surgery. He should never have performed it on me having knowledge, as a doctor, to do this surgery on me, and causing overall damage to my entire body. See, RSD spreads, and we have NERVES throughout our entire body, and nerves, ligaments, tendons, and body tissue get severed with a Hyst., and he had no consideration for me. How many other women has he had no "consideration" for?

I can well understand how lives are ruined by this. I am grateful my husband 'hangs in there'. My two children question me now. They think I am just not the same mother, and what is my problem? This hurts so much. How do I get across to them how I feel, and how my body has been damaged, with no repair in site, and when this is still thought of as a justifiable surgery on women? When are people going to wake-up and stop this insanity. We have to get the word out; so women are understood in this plight; that they have been put under the knife, and unnecessary, and wind up - wrecked - physically, emotionally, and not understood by family and friends. This would not be happening to men...

This has to stop, and soon. Go to the Hers Foundation site. Help them help others, and above all; do not treat this unfunny matter as funny...

Nat Topping said...

Wow, Mike Bauman. I, as one who also spends every waking hour of my day patrolling the internet looking for any reference of the word 'hysterectomy' and then leaving long wordy posts attacking people for making light of this, am incredibly offended. Sounds like you need a hysterectomy of the brain!

I don't know what the HERS foundation is, but four previous posters in a row have mentioned it, which does not suggest to me at all that someone is attempting to hijack your post with the intention of hawking the HERS foundation!

You are a bad, bad, bad person for making jokes, Mike Bauman. BAD!

And, for the record, the word Penilectomy is hilarious.

Joe Janes said...

Well, there you go.

Time to take the "hysterical" out of "hysterectomy."

In Mike's defense, he did say it was unfunny and his assertion has been proved by these posts.

And...

"The Cat in the Penilectomy" is definitely funnier.

GW said...

Obviously hysterectomies are damaging and gravely serious to women and families who have experienced them. And granted, Mike Bauman is an offensive brute. (You only experienced his writing, but I've actually met him in person.)

But I don't think his joke was even about hysterectomies. I think it was a joke about language and wouldn't it be funny (or unfunny) if you replaced the whimsical, easy-to-say words from Dr. Seuss books words that are serious and difficult to rhyme with.

I hope nobody minds that I ended that sentence with a preposition of.

Anonymous said...

Yes, hysterectomy is not 'funny'. But sometimes in this wicked life if ya don't laugh you will end up in a straight jacket. I am almost there due to my Dr. Seuss hysterectomy! It was a joke. A BIG joke on me!!!

Nat Topping said...

I do believe this post has unwittingly become the most commented on post in the history of robo-blog.

Gracie said...

NOT FUNNY! Maybe we can castrate you and then make a joke of it. This is very offensive to all women who have been hysterectomized and castrated. This surgery is a very damaging surgery and has life-long consequences. Find your answers on the HERS Foundation web-site, not on here.

Katie said...

Do what you want, but I will continue to choose the Robot vs. Dinosaur blog as the source of all medical advice and emotional support.

Chris Othic said...

"If you ever want to work on a satirical play that conveys the horror of how this surgery ruins lives I would gladly discuss and possibly collaborate with you."

Hysterectomy: The Musical

Okay, to be fair, I'd also buy a ticket to Penilectomy: A Comedy in Three Hacks

Crump said...

I just saw all this. Wow! People have been to our blog!

Nat Topping said...

I just noticed this at the end of Nora Coffey's post: "Let the buyer beware."

What does that even mean?

I'm going to start ending all of my posts with cryptic one sentence paragraphs.

And so the saying goes.

Nat Topping