Saturday, November 14, 2009

Mike Bauman Deserves to be Castrated

Mike Bauman is an awful man. He very obviously hates women. Why else would advocate the castration of women by surgeons such as Dr. Seuss? His blog post of November 7, 2009, is only the latest incident in a life filled with misogyny. Here are just a few of his dickheaded, chauvinistic offenses:

May 3, 2003 - Makes pumpkin muffins with walnuts. His sister hates nuts.

August 29, 1989 - Sorta laughs at an Andrew Dice Clay routine.

October 17, 1976 - Rips his mother's vagina to bits being born with that big old head of his.

June 12, 2008 - Opens his one-man show, "Hysterectomies Should Be Mandatory."

April 2, 6417 BC - Gives Eve an apple.

For these egregious acts, Robot vs Dinosaur has had Mike Bauman castrated. Here is a photograph taken at the moment of the snip.

Since the surgery, Mike Bauman is reported to have changed his ways and has released the following statement:

And to Think That I Penilectomy It on Mulberry Street

The Penilectomy Hats of Batholomew Cubbins

The King's Penilectomy

The Seven Penilectomy Godivas

Horton Hatches the Penilectomy

McElligot's Penilectomy

Thidwick the Big-Hearted Penilectomy

Scrambled Eggs Penilectomy!

Horton Hears a Penilectomy

How the Penilectomy Stole Christmas

The Cat in the Penilectomy

One Penilectomy Two Penilectomy Red Penilectomy Blue Penilectomy

Green Eggs and Ham

Penilectomy on Pop

Penilectomy in Socks

I Can Penilectomy 30 Tigers Today! and Other Stories

There's a Penilectomy in My Pocket

I Can Penilectomy With My Eyes Shut

Oh, the Places You'll Penilectomy!

Thank you,
Mike Bauman


GW said...

Let the buyer beware, Mike Bauman.

Chris Othic said...

This is only fitting. As it says in the Bible, "A hysterectomy for an eye, a penilectomy for a tooth."

Nat Topping said...

Wow. Somehow, penilectomy is not as funny. Does that make me an awful person?

Or was I an awful person already and this just proves it?

Chris Othic said...

Nat, you don't think a penilectomy is funny because you would have to suffer through two of them.