Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Top Ten Irrational Fears Held By Chris Othic

  • That he will develop an allergy to beer
  • That he will be involved in a plane crash but he will be on the ground and the plane will crash on top of him
  • Little People (this is unfair to Little People but we are dealing with irrational fears)
  • That his fantasy football team (Beer Men, 3-0) will go undefeated but then lose in the championship game costing him $350 in prize money
  • That Freddy Krueger is real
  • That Freddy Krueger is only 28” tall (see fear of Little People)
  • Nat Topping’s second penis (the first is actually very friendly)
  • That he will lose his job, go bankrupt, develop a drug problem, his wife will leave him, he will go crazy, become homeless, run off into the forest, there will be a tornado, he will have to take shelter in a cave, there will be a cave-in, he will be pinned under some rocks, he will be forced to drink his own urine, it will start raining, the water will rise, he will somehow manage to escape the water, he will be close to dying, he will find a six pack of beer in the cave to sustain his life, he will have an allergic reaction to the beer and die
  • That he will only be able to think of nine irrational fears


      Anonymous said...

      Krueger's got a new movie coming out! With a new Freddy ...

      Anonymous said...

      the first five fears in number eight have more or less already happened to me, and i'm okay. or maybe not, but moving on, if you've heard the cliche "what you fear most has already happened," then you should now that all of these irrational fears of yours are likely to become reality.

      Chris Othic said...

      Anonymous just wrote my tenth irrational fear for me. The fear that what I fear most has already happened, which means I died in a cave from beer poisoning. Thank you.

      WV: aqitti - What an Italian yells when they quit a job.