Friday, August 14, 2009

Ferris Bueller Trivia

If you ever find yourself watching John Hughes’ classic “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” with a person who has never seen it before, and you’re dropping little bits of trivia as the movie progresses, there will come a moment when everyone will get bummed out…

“See Ferris’s parents? The actors names are Cindy Pickett and Lyman Ward. They met on the movie set and actually ended up getting married!

“But they weren’t the only love story on the set! Ferris is played by Matthew Broderick, and see that girl playing his sister Jeannie? That’s Jennifer Grey. While they were making this movie they were dating, and they later got engaged.

“That’s Alan Ruck playing the part of Cameron. Can you believe he was 29 when he starred in this! Yeah, I know, he is excellent!

“Ferris’s girlfriend, that’s Mia Sara. She’s… I got nothin’ on her.

“That monotonous economics teacher is Ben Stein! He was a speechwriter for Richard Nixon! Pretty neat, huh!

“Yes, that’s Mrs. Poole from The Hogan Family. Her real name is Edie McClurg, and this scene where she’s answering the phone and trying to sound like the principal is improvised!

“What’s that? Tell you something interesting about Ed who? Sorry, I didn’t catch that name, come again? … Oh! The principal! Yeah… Hmm, what can I tell you about him … Well, his name is Jeffrey Jones, and he was in Amadeus and Ed Wood. … I can tell that you do not find that tidbit interesting. Let’s see, I know he attended the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art in 1969. … Not factoidy enough for you? Well, like his secretary in the film, he has red hair. Let’s call that a good piece of trivia about him and move on so I can tell you all about Charlie Sheen staying up for 48 hours before filming! … No? Still not satisfied? Okay… I only know one more thing about him. (sigh) I can tell you that he disappeared from film and TV for three years after he was arrested for possession of child pornography and employing a 14-year-old boy to pose for pornographic photographs.

“What? Turn it off? We’re not even half-way through!

“No! Why would I find it creepy that the man playing the principal, surrounded by all these high school aged actors, is a sexual predator? … Stop being weirded out, he’s completely employable now! Since the "incident" he's starred in the hilarious Caddyshack rip-off “Who’s Your Caddy?”

“... Well, yes, I guess you’re right. That title is an obvious play on the phrase “Who’s your daddy?” which as you say that is a phrase used to imply a boastful claim of physical or sexual dominance over the intended listener. … His character’s name in “Who’s Your Caddy?” Why would you even want to know that? ... Fine, I can see you won’t be satisfied until I give you an answer, and I don’t like interrupting the movie for this long, because it really breaks the flow— Um, I think his character’s name is flemberfflmphh. … I said flenderflemvvv. … Louder you say? Cummings! Yes, his character’s name is Cummings! Who cares? I don't get it … Oh, that's very juvenile of you to find it eerily coincidental that an actor who was arrested for taking snapshots of a nude 14-year-old boy in his own home just happen to be in a film whose title is a play on sexual dominance playing a character whose name, in a completely different context, refers to the orgasm. Will you let the man be? Let the guy have a career!

“Turn it off?! You haven’t even seen Louie Anderson as the flower delivery guy! Come on, this is a great movie! One of the best ‘80s comedies ever! … Fine. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Can I refill your tea? ... What’s that? …Sure, I still feel like watching something. What do you feel like? … No longer in a laughing mood, eh? Sure, we can watch The Pianist. … Let’s see, what trivia do I know about Roman Polanski…”

1 comment:

Nat Topping said...

Apparently they still have 'Tired and Sleepy' in Indonesia. I wonder if Madge is hiding out there too?