Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Emails I Received

Possibly Racist/Homophobic Random E-mail I received this week:

From: Billy (name has been changed to protect the guilty)

Subject: funny chinese guys

hey chris,

i can't explain why i thought of you while i was sitting in a meeting with the gayest, most insecure chinese banker on the planet last week, but, well, i thought of you. i think i imagined you working this character into a scene. he was a piece of work if ever there was a piece of work. he appologized incessantly for the most trivial little things. at one point he mis-wrote a digit in my contact number as he was filling-out an application. he proceeded to appologize as though he had just run down my mother in a car.

did i mention that he was really, really gay? that, too was funny because, well, gay guys are funny.

so there you have it. go to work. be gay and chinese. be so gay that people think your chinese because you're squinting so hard trying to be gay.

hope all is well,

Billy

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A Non-Racist Random E-mail I received this week:

From: My Aunt

Subject: Salmon Wars

Chris.....you forgot to add some chopped onions....I would have voted for your patties. Sorry Mary.

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Favorite Email from a Former C0-worker Who Now Lives in Another State:

From: Ricardo (name has been changed to protect the innocent)

Subject: No Subject

I miss me some Chris Othic. There is no one here as funny and good-looking as you are.

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If you psychoanalyze these emails I must be gay, Chinese, a bad cook, and awesome.

I'll take it.

1 comment:

Susie G said...

My favorite is the racist and homophobic one.