So I learned that President Obama is making a stop in my home town area of Buffalo, NY today. Apparently it is partially in response to a billboard that got put up in Buffalo, which I also just learned about today (seriously, my friends and family back home suck at keeping me in the loop).
According to my fellow Buffalo friend and fellow RvD writer, Mike Bauman, Obama has made a stop at Duff's on Dick Rd in Cheektowaga and ordered 5 extra hot wings. The thing about Duff's is their wing sauce is extreme hot. Like, Satan's crotch hot. I am hoping he burns his mouth and it prevents him from talking, not because I don't like Obama, but because I think it would be a fun story for a dying city. The news writers would say something like "The final nail in Buffalo's coffin was an inadvertent mouth-mauling of President Barack Obama after he made a visit to the city and tried some of it's famous chicken wings. Although never confirmed, it was fairly apparent that President Obama made it his side project to strangle what little economy remained in the city as a revenge move for causing a pain the President described as 'like having the sun ejaculate lava into my mouth'."
I either want to see that happen or I want him to simply hand over a government check for one billion dollars to Erie County. Knowing the track record of Buffalo and Erie County though, the burnt mouth scenario is not only much more likely, but its practically a guaranteed thing. Sigh...
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