Fellatio for Fruit Bats

Pity poor Dylan Evans.


While the lecturer in ‘behavioural science’ at University College Cork has been cleared of sexual harassment charges, he will still be subjected to a two year probation for offending a female colleague at the college. The man just wanted to share his findings, after all.

Don’t pity him for the probation, though. Pity him because his findings were in a paper entitled “Fellatio by fruit bats prolongs copulation time.” Pity Dylan Evans because he’s the type of guy that studies oral sex in fruit bats.

He’s also the type of guy that posts video of himself droning on and on about something in the way that only a British professor can and, in his spare time, is also a DJ (The cleverly named PhDJ, as a matter of fact). I know what you’re saying: this is one cool cat. A cool cat with a bat fetish.

So apparently Professor Evans just wanted to share his paper. The female colleague thought he was trying to share something else. I can only imagine what that conversation must have been like. In fact, if anyone wants to write that scene I’ll post it next Monday.

I would also love to know what the benefits are to humanity in studying the sucking, licking and biting habits of fruit bats on one another’s genitalia. At least NASA gave us Tang. What the hell kind of good comes from fruit bat carpet munching?