Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Last Words of Oscar Wilde

It is widely believed that the final utterance of the famous playwright Oscar Wilde was "Either the wallpaper goes or I do." Witty but incomplete. Through exhaustive research, I have established the Aesthete's true last words:

"Either the wallpaper goes, or I do.

"Why is no one taking down the wallpaper? Do none of you care about me? Jesus Christ, people. I'm not asking for divine intercession, here. Just get a a putty knife and a mixture of vinegar and water. Great, I'm dead now. Fuck all of y'all."

I humbly submit this as my doctoral thesis,
Mike Bauman.

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