Monday, October 12, 2009

Columbus Day!

One thing I like to do when I can't think of anything to write (other than, of course, show plugs which get tiresome after the eighth or tenth time), is to write about holidays! Holidays are like freebie blogging material, because it doesn't require any more inspiration than opening up your calenders.

Hooray lazy!

And today just so happens to be Columbus Day!

Columbus is the Italian turned Spanish explorer who discovered America by proving that the world is round, and then proceeded to save the indigenous people from a sinful if otherwise peaceful and charmed existence living on tropical beaches. For this, we have named one of the worst cities in America after him. Also, some people get the day off to celebrate. And by celebrate, I mean spending the day vegging out in front of their televisions watching the Bonnie Hunt show or whatever it is people do when they have nothing to do in the afternoons. Also, there are furniture sales. Still not sure of the connection between Columbus and furniture, but... eh.

Of course, all the kill-joys out there will be quick to remind you that Columbus brought disease and violent death to millions of indigenous persons, including the wholesale extinction of entire tribes. They might also point out:
  1. That Christopher Columbus did not prove that the earth was round, because he did not travel all the way around the world.

  2. That everyone already suspected that the earth was round, as early as the Ancient Greeks.

  3. That Columbus wasn't the first person to discover America because technically there were people already living there.

  4. That Columbus wasn't even the first European to set foot in America; the Viking explorer Leif Erickson was in Canada 500 years before.

  5. That he never even set foot on North America, so there's really no good reason for us in the USA to celebrate the dude.

Yeah, okay; it's easy to point out a guy's failings. But think of it this way: this dude mistakenly stumbled on a "new" continent and perpetrated atrocities on the indigenous people, which caused other Europeans to move to the new world to perpetrate new atrocities, which lead to more of the same, which ultimately lead to that iPhone you're holding in your hand.

The guy couldn't have been all bad, right?

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