Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Chris, Yeah, He's Forty

Wow, I started to write the most boring blog post ever about my birthday celebration. Instead, here is a list of everything I did over the past few days, going back as far as Saturday, October 3rd, when my celebrating began.
  • Saturday, went to suburbs, ate GIANT steak and drank my in-laws beer
  • Sunday, had heartburn from GIANT steak and hangover from in-laws beer
  • Monday, went to work
  • Tuesday, had heartburn from work
  • Tuesday night, ate another GIANT steak, compliments of Elizabeth Drury
  • After dinner, drank too much, compliments of Elizabeth Drury
  • Wednesday morning, cursed Elizabeth Drury's name while I was at work
  • Thursday, took the day off--from drinking
  • Friday, took the day off--from work
  • Friday night, ate GIANT slab of ribs, compliments of Mike Malone
  • Friday night, drank waaay to much, compliments of Mike Malone
  • Late late Friday night, continued drinking waay too much, compliments of Mike Malone
  • Saturday morning (actual birthday), cursed Mike Malone's name while having heartburn from GIANT slab of ribs
  • Went to 8 a.m. RvD rehearsal, tried to hide the fact that I was hungover (possibly still drunk)
  • Noon, slept, like and old man should
  • 3:30, played kickball, lost 1-0 to Crump's team
  • 5:00, cursed Crump's name because he was kickball MVP, instead of me
  • 6 p.m., continued drinking at Vines with friends
  • 8 p.m., salivated over moisty, fudgy cake made by my friend Mamata (
  • 10 p.m., actually home and having a nice jacuzzi tub with a scented candle, because apparently when I turned 40 I also turned into a woman
  • Sunday, 6 a.m., woke up for 9 a.m. surprise flight to Kansas City, probably cursed someone (but not my wife)
  • Noon, watched Chiefs game with my pals Willie, Daryl, Dave, Rodney, Ralph, and my brothers Jeff and Danny.
  • 3:30, cursed the Chiefs for sucking
  • 6 p.m., went to see my nephew Luke's pee wee football game
  • 6:30, realized my nephew's pee wee football team was better than the Chiefs
  • 8 p.m., cake and ice cream with my nephew (and birthday buddy) Quade
  • 9 p.m., mad at Quade for getting more presents than me
  • 9:30, teaching nieces and nephews innappropriate behavior
  • Monday morning, rush down to visit parents in my home town
  • Visit my grandmother, who gives me $12 for my birthday, then finds a $20, which she trades me for
  • Mad at grandma for not offering me a frozen candy bar like all the other grandkids get every time they visit her
  • 3:30, Late lunch with my pal, Doug (Willie) and his boy, Hunter
  • 4:30, teaching Hunter inappropriate behavior
  • Fly home, make Mary mad by saying "brace for landing" right before we land
  • Tuesday morning, wake up, dread return to work the next day
  • See "Couples Retreat" and want those two hours back
  • Spend time thinking about how incredibly hot the women in "Couples Retreat" were, but still want those two hours back
  • 9 p.m., go to Metro for Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter with my pal, Dan Belshaw
  • Drink too much with my pal, Dan Belshaw
  • Wednesday, 7:30 a.m., curse the name Dan Belshaw
  • Arrive at work, and find rum cake made by my cube neighbor, Loree McKinney, as well as specially made 40 year old beers on my desk
  • Eat rum cake, realize I forgot to quit drinking
  • Finally come to terms with the fact that I am now 40, and get over myself
  • Write boring blog post about the experience


Crump said...

You're not allowed to curse me for being the kickball MVP because it was my birthday too.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a nice birthday. Well done.

Nat Topping said...

I'm glad you took time out of your busy birthday schedule to teach inappropriate behavior to little children. You, sir, are a charitable man.

Chris Othic said...

I forgot to mention that it was Crump's birthday also, and for that I apologize. Also, Brett Favre, who likely would have kicked the ball well early, then kicked it all over the place late in the game.