Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Crap For Sale

So these items were posted For Sale at my work recently. I think the seller was really out of touch in regards to quality and price. Here is what they had, and my thoughts (in red).

Items for Sale


Hardcover -- $5.00 each (okay, $5? Really? If this were a yard sale wouldn’t the going rate be about $1? So these are a 400% mark-up from garage sale prices? (Or maybe it’s 500%, I’m a writer, not a math scholar.)

Murder In Brentwood by Mark Fuhrman (If you don’t already know what happened during the OJ murders—mainly, that OJ murdered his wife—you can find out here. For $5.)

Michael Jackson Unmasked by Ian Halperin (I would pay $5 if Michael would put on a mask.)

The No Spin Zone by Bill O’Reilly (Sheesh.)

Who’s Looking Out For You by Bill O’Reilly (Double Sheesh.)

The Funny Thing Is by Ellen DeGeneres (Finally, a book I would read—no accounting for taste with me. But did you know that as I type this there are 9 available copies in the Chicago Public Library system? And one on audiobook.)

Paperback -- $3.00 each (Once again, I think the pricing is absurd.)

Love, Greg & Lauren by Greg Manning (I cannot in good conscience make fun of this book as it is about someone who was involved in 9/11 attacks (summary here), but would point out that there are 10 copies available in the CPL, none of which is currently checked out, and five or which are available in LARGE PRINT format.)

Culture Warrior by Bill O’Reilly (You know, I’m starting to form a profile of this person.)

Music and DVDs and VHS


George Strait – Somewhere Down In Texas (CD new, unopened) $8.00 (Hey, only $8 because it’s like, brand new, you know? Only you can get it on Amazon for 7.48, and USED – VERY GOOD for about $4.) (Or just click this link and listen to this for free.)

George Strait – Twang -- $6.00 (Must already be opened. Yep.)


World Trade Center (2 Disc Commemorative Edition) -- $10.00 (I’m kind of speechless that this is either the only DVD they own or the only one they wanted to get rid of.)

VHS (Okay, really, you think someone wants to buy your old VHS? I had a box of about 50 Disney movies – good stuff, too, like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – and nobody wanted them. I tried to give them to people with kids, for free, and they looked at me like I was selling them rat poison. I’m just sayin’. And none of these listed below is even in the same ballpark as The Fox and the Hound.)

The Thorn Birds (4 tape set in slip case of the popular mini-series based on novel by Colleen McCullough) $20.00 (Yipes! Priests having sex on VHS for $20? Sounds like really, really bad porn – from the ‘80s – when you say it like that. I like that they included the whole description of how it was a mini-series based on a novel, because it probably helps justify the price in their eyes. You think for only $5 more they throw in the Hardcover? Whattadeal!)

Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (new, unopened) $8.00 (How this was purchased back in 2002? I imagine like this: “Hey guys, look, it’s the new Harry Potter movie on VHS! I can’t wait to get home and watch it in my VCR! I know it’s available on DVD, but come on, that will never catch on! VHS is here to stay! No, you say? Would it sweeten the deal if I offered up popcorn and a viewing of Lord of the Rings on Betamax?”)

The Ten Commandments (40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition, 2 VHS tape set in slip case) $20.00 (This seems like a great deal until you realize you can record this from AMC every Easter onto your own VHS tapes.)

If you are interested in any of these items, let me know and I will contact the seller. A $2 facility fee will be added on to each purchase.

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