New Show: Pretty From A Distance

RvD has a new show coming up very soon! It opens on Friday, March 21st! See below for more information!

(And mark your calendars for our annual St. Drunken's Day pageant and fundraiser on April 21, 2012. More info on that soon!)

Look, pretty picture and press release! (This post has been flagged for excessive use of exclamation points!!!)



For Immediate Release

Press Contact: Nat Topping, Robot vs. Dinosaur @ 734-657-8582, nat.topping@gmail.com
Audience Contact: Luna Central @ 773-819-5862, info@teatroluna.org

Robot vs. Dinosaur Presents:

PRETTY FROM A DISTANCE

Opening: March 23rd
Closing: April 7th
Days and Times: Fridays and Saturdays, 7:30pm
Location: Luna Central
3914 N Clark St
Chicago, IL

Ticket Price: $15

Contact the Luna Central box office at 773-819-5862 or at teatroluna.org

CHICAGO, IL – (March 5, 2012) Like the Horsehead Nebula poised over Orion’s nether-regions, Robot vs. Dinosaur’s latest sketch show, Pretty from a Distance, is a beacon to souls lost in the universe. Directed by RvD veteran Chris Othic, the show addresses big questions about our place in the universe and the rituals of life. The subject matter may be heavy, but non-stop laughs inspire guests to leave the theater chanting "Not insignificant, but insignif-I-CAN!"

Whether gazing at the stars or rooting through the garbage, Pretty from a Distance explores all the things that make us who we are: our hopes, our fears, the things that make us laugh and the things we’ve learned to love. It’s chock full of absurdity and hilarious one-liners, but it’s got more heart than your average sketch show.

Othic explains, “We’re a writer-centric sketch group, meaning unlike the Second City style, we start with a script instead of improvisation. In the end, it yields more play-like scenes. The words are more intentional, the relationships are deeper and the laughs have a bigger pay off.”

“There aren’t any Whoopie cushions or MAGNUM condoms on our prop list. The show has a lot of heart. It’s sweet and, at times, nostalgic. But mostly it’s downright absurd.” Perhaps he’s referring to a scene in which a woman attempts to be the most “green” by trading in her dust-buster for a howler monkey.

A forty-five minute “teaser” of the show premiered in front of a packed house at the 2012 Chicago Sketchfest at Stage 773. Now expanded to a full 75-minute show, Pretty from a Distance serves as a treat to viewers who love sketch and grounded scene work, a rare occurrence in Chicago’s standard sketch scene. Catch a shooting star Fridays and Saturdays, March 23 – April 7 at 7:30pm. Luna Central is located at 3914 N Clark St (just south of Irving Park). Tickets are $15.

More about Robot vs. Dinosaur: For 6 years, Robot vs Dinosaur has assembled such quality shows as “Are You There God? It’s Me, Satan” (Gorilla Tango), “Mrs. Gruber’s Ding Dong School” (Gorilla Tango), and “The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent, etc.” (Neo-Futurists, Stage 773). The group has made appearances at Chicago Sketchfest the past 6 years and continues to delight audiences with creative, thematic sketch shows. Robot vs. Dinosaur consists of writers Rammel Chan, Susie Gutowski, Joe Janes, Rebecca Levine, Chris Othic, Nat Topping and Greg Wendling. Visit www.rvdchicago.blogspot.com for more information, or find them on Facebook.

##END##

Natural Gas Company Propoganda is BULLS*!T!

Julianna Forlano is funny. And smart. And ironic. And here is her latest, and most maddening, Ironic News Report yet.

It's Funny

It's funny that I am the first person to post a blog since April. You probably don't know why it's funny, but I do. That is why inside jokes work very well in sketch and improv comedy. Here is a photo that came up when I typed "water bomb mallery" into google:



Feel free to make up a story as to why those words and that picture are connected as you drift off to sleep tonight.

St Drunken, Debriefed!

Well, St. Drunken's Day was last Saturday and we're just now getting over the hangover.  Personally, I couldn't remember completely what all happened.  Luckily, Greg's friend Laura Shin had a camera and took pictures!  So let's take a look through here and see if we can remember what the hell happened:

Yeah, this was the pageant.  I remember that happening at some point.  I think we were all only three beers or so down by that point.  This is either a picture of St. Drunken praying to the Lord for guidance, or else Greg is about to put some sort of crazy flying wrestling move on Geoff, with the help of Susie and Joe.  It's probably a wrestling move.

It's okay, though, because Greg and Geoff obviously made up.

LADIES!

Here's us playing the St. Drunken's Day traditional song.  Note the excessive amount of guitars on stage.  And yes, that would be Chris holding the lyrics for Greg.  Because we are professionals, damn it.  Also, please note in the background that Joe is playing the 'stairs.'  This is considered a legitimate instrument during St. Drunken's Day festivities.

Here's Chris teaching everybody how to read.  It was the educational portion of the show, and I think everybody was touched.  Meaning, of course, that Chris made it a point to physically touch everyone.  This would be a great group photo if I was in this, but I'm not.  And where was I?

Hanging out with my doppelganger, that's where.  It's not often that you go through your wardrobe specifically to find the weirdest shirt you own, only to find someone else wearing the exact same shirt.  Once I got over the inexplicable shame and embarassment of that, I went over and introduced myself.  His name's Jeremy and he's awesome.  Look!  We're buddies.

So what the hell else happened?

Beer Pong, apparently.  Susie was so zoned in that she became blurry.

Foosball.

Beer drinking (That's the photographer taking a break).  OH!  And this guy!

That guy parked himself by the Plinko board that I made for the party and basically ran the damn thing for an hour and a half.  It was like having Bob Barker show up to your event and just start running your drinking games.  It was great.  No idea who this guy was, but hats off to you!

All in all, it was a successful night and a hell of a lot of fun.  Thanks to the guys at the loft for all of their help with putting everything on; thanks to Laura for showing up with a camera and documenting everything for us; and most of all, thanks to everyone who showed up to celebrate this little holiday with us.

Look at you guys.  You're beautiful.

RvD Fundraiser - It's St. Drunken's Day!

Robot vs. Dinosaur invites you to attend a fundraiser celebrating: St. Drunken’s Day! A Holiday for the Drunken Masses

The event will feature the first-ever St. Drunken’s Day pageant, drinking games, drinking songs, a raffle for fun drinking (and non-drinking) related prizes, a silent auction of one-of-a-kind St. Drunken’s Day artwork and a host of other fun activities including a goodly amount of a certain beverage made from hops and barley.

The Details:

What: St. Drunken’s Day Celebration When: Saturday, April 16, 2011 from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Where: 3036 North Lincoln Avenue, #2 Tickets: $20 in advance, $25 at the door (this event is capped so purchase your tickets early--don’t get left out of the celebration!)

To purchase tickets see any member of RvD.

You must be 21 to attend St. Drunken’s Day.

About St. Drunken: St. Drunken is the world’s mostly forgotten patron saint of drunks, inebriates, drinkers, imbibers and people who like to have fun. He is responsible for finding arbitrary reasons for people to get together, enjoy each other’s company, shake off the weight of the world, and drink alcohol (usually to excess).

All proceeds will go to help fund future RvD shows, not to buy beer for RvD. Mostly.

Muffin Tops

Did you know that "Muffin Top" was recently added to the Oxford English Dictionary? Well, it was.

"2. a protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers."

And while it may have taken Oxford University until 2011 to appreciate the phenomenon, our friends at Creepy Hug have been celebrating Muffin Tops for years. This video is from Chicago Sketchfest 2009, and it also reveals Creepy Hug took notice of Charlie Sheen long before his recent press. They were about 25 years late on Rainbow Bright, however. Enjoy.

Happy Pulaski Day!

Our friends at *Creepy Hug, and the Peanuts gang, help explain what this holiday is all about.

SHOW TOMORROW

Swiped and reposted for maximum laziness:

WBEZ Dueling Critics Kelly Kleiman and Jonathan Arbarbanel will take the audience through memorable moments in Chicago’s rich theater history along with a panel of experts. Stitching the evening together, five local theater companies will perform a few of these moments with tongues firmly in cheeks.


To attend you must purchase tickets at wbez.org/events.

On stage:

...- Kelly Kleiman is a freelance writer on the arts, feminism, travel and social justice.
- Jonathan Abarbanel is theater critic for WBEZ and the weekly Windy City Times newspaper.

Also:

Critic Albert Williams, Broadway actor Kate Buddeke, and Victory Gardens' founder Dennis Zacek

With:

Sketch comedy group Robot vs. Dinosaur, spoken word troupe BoyGirlBoyGirl, fringe theater companies The Plagiarists and RoShamBo Theater, and southside educational theater company Tofu Chitlin' Circuit

Tickets

$15/general admission
$12/WBEZ members
$10/students (with valid ID)

More information: http://chicagopublicradio.org/Event_Detail.aspx?eventID=2099

Just Need Some Space...?

This is awkward. I got this e-mail this morning.

Hey Joe,

We've missed you at Myspace lately. Plain and simple, we think you should come back. And here's why.

The new Myspace provides the best social entertainment experience on Earth.

You can now follow your favorite topics in music, movies, celebs, and TV and get instant updates from around the web.

The new Myspace gives you custom recommendations so you can discover more of what you love and connect with new like-minded friends.

MySpace

I have been working on my response.

Hey, MySpace,

Good to hear from you. Sounds like you are doing well, which is great. Very happy to hear that. Sorry I haven't seen you in so long. Seems like years! Where does the time go? Thanks for the link. I actually lost your url. Got a new computer, didn't have my old bookmarks or passwords, etc, you know how it goes.

I appreciate the invite to come back, but I have to be honest here. The reason I haven't been visiting you is because I have been seeing someone else. For a few years now. And, yes, if you do the math, I was seeing them while still seeing you. I feel like a real heel and I never meant to hurt you. They were just very persistent and eventually won me over. What can I say? Social media can be so fickle, right?

Well, I wouldn't be surprised if you never wanted to hear or see from me, again. But, if you're up for it, I wouldn't mind getting together for coffee and chatting about old times. When you're ready. Tell Tom I said hello. I always thought he was nice.

- Joe

P.S. Oh, hey. Have you ever heard of Friendster? You two should meet and hang out. I think you have a lot to talk about.

ON THE DOCKET

On the off chance that anyone still reads this thing and wants to know what RvD is up to in the new year, here are a couple of projects we're woring on:

1. Writing and performing a piece for WBEZ's Alternative History of Chicago Theatre (Abridged) on Wednesday, March 2nd.
2. An eBook version of our first show, The Greatest Stories Never Told... Told!
3. A fundraiser evening called "St. Drunken's Day."
4. Our as yet untitled Spring/Summer show about mutant animal sketch comedy performers in futuristic Nazi Illinois.
5. Cake for everyone!

So, we have that to look forward to.  Hope to see some of you people out at one or all of these.

I Saw Social Network! In Other News, Oh God The Hindenburg!

My name is Nat Topping, and I am the last person to see Social Network.

I am now in an awkward position, which is this: after seeing a movie like Social Network, I would normally like to run out and talk about it with other people.  But since everyone has seen the movie already, I would just be opening myself up to criticism.

'Really?  You're just now talking about Social Network?  That movie has been out for like half a year, hasn't it?'

Yes, it's been out since October.  But I didn't have a chance to see it in October and now I have and doesn't anyone else want to talk about it?  I promise I'll have witty and interesting things to say about it!  Honest, I will!

But no, nobody wants to talk about Social Network.  Because everyone on the planet has already had their Social Network discussion moments.  Everyone's already debated whether or not Mark Zuckerberg is a douchebag.  Everyone's already questioned whether Justin Timberlake did a good job as Sean Parker because he's suddenly a good actor or because he himself is also a douchebag.  Everyone's already posted their Facebook "I'm watching Social Network while posting on Facebook" wall posts.

It would be like me running up to people and saying "Hey, have you kids seen that new Annie Hall movie?  Boy howdie, that Woody Allen sure knows how to write!"

Just saw that new Citizen Kane movie and it was amazing.  Everybody rush out to your nearest movie house!  It's worth the 50 cent price of admission, and if you stay after you can check out one of them new Looney Toons!

To sum up, I suck.

But at least I wrote a blog post today.

SHOW SHOW SHOW *SKETCHFEST* SHOW SHOW SHOW

Let the New Year’s pluggery commence!

Next Friday, January 14th at 7:00 PM, your favorite Chicago sketch comedy group named Robot vs Dinosaur PERFORMS at Chicago Sketchfest!

Come spend an hour with us as we relive our short lived glory sketches in an ‘unplugged’ environment. There will be sketches and songs and even a staged reading of something too inappropriate to be staged. And as always the show ends catastrophically.

See? Unplugged! Like Aerosmith!

CHICAGO SKETCHFEST 2011

@Stage773

1225 W Belmont Ave

Chicago, IL 60657

Robot vs Dinosaur

Friday, 1/14 @ 7:00 PM

South Theatre

For more information and ticketing, go to www.chicagosketchfest.com/

Don't Ask, Do Tell

In the spirit of the repeal of the infamous (and stupid) "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, I thought I would share a scene I wrote clear back in 2003 when I was a student in the Second City Conservatory Writing Progam.

I just want to say that Obama has knocked another one out of the park. If only Gomer Pyle were still around to enjoy this. And I can't wait to see what happens to the Beetle Bailey comics now.

Enjoy!

Chris Othic
“GAY FOXHOLE”
February 26, 2003 (Version #2)
CAST
JOE – 30’s
BILLY – 30’s
SARGE – 40’s

(A foxhole in Afghanistan)

JOE
That was Sergeant Wiggams on the radio. He says we need to lock and load. Those bastards are coming our way.

BILLY
Oh God, no. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die in this hellhole. I have everything to live for.

JOE
Well, then you better start shooting. Here they come!

(They both start shooting like crazy.)

BILLY
Joe, there’s something a need to tell you.

JOE
Die you bastards!

BILLY
There’s something I just have to get off my chest. (fires frantically) I’m, I’m gay.

JOE
You need a grenade?

BILLY
No, I said I’m gay. I’m a homosexual.

JOE
(laughs) That’s a good one, Billy. Don’t let the war ruin your sense of humor.

BILLY
No, really I am. And I just want everyone to know it before I die.

JOE
I don’t believe it.

BILLY
It’s true. I wear flip-flops every chance I get.

JOE
If you’re gay then I’m gay.

BILLY
And I love show tunes!

JOE
You’re killing me, Billy-boy!

BILLY
Really, I do. I love them more than Rosie O’Donnell. Oklahoma, Guys and Dolls, La Cage Au Fox. I even like opera.

JOE
That don’t mean your gay. You just have bad taste in music. Hell, I like disco but I don’t like di--

(A grenade lands in their foxhole)

JOE
Grenade!

(JOE grabs the grenade and throws it out of the foxhole.)

JOE
Whew! That was close. No more gay talk.

(Sgt. Wiggams comes crawling up to the foxhole.)

SGT. WIGGAMS
How you fellows holding out? It’s a goddamn hornet’s nest out here!

JOE
We’re hanging in there Sarge. Hard Core!

BILLY
Sergeant Wiggams. I told Joe I’m coming out of the closet.

SGT. WIGGAMS
What the hell are you talking about, soldier?

JOE
He thinks he’s gay Sarge. He likes show tunes.

BILLY
That’s right, and if I die here today, I want you to tell my parents that I died a gay man. Today is my coming out day and I want everyone to know. As a matter of fact (shouting) hey Talibans, I’m gay!

SGT. WIGGAMS
Stop saying that, damn it! I don’t think you want to open this can of worms. Remember the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy?

BILLY
But what about be all you can be? I want to be as gay as I can be! I love the penis!

SGT. WIGGAMS
I order you to not be gay!

BILLY
I’m sorry, Sergeant. I’m tired of living this lie, and I want everyone to know, if I should die today, that I’m wearing panties.

SGT. WIGGAMS
Soldier, I’m warning you!

BILLY
And a bra.

SARGE
Stop it!

BILLY
As a matter of fact (shouting) hey Talibans, I’m wearing panties and a bra. It’s a matching set I got from Target.

JOE
You know, Billy, honestly, I hate to smear your queerness, but, that’s really just a fetish, you know. Lot’s of guys wear women’s clothing that are perfectly heterosexual.

BILLY
Not me. I wear them because—(shouting)—I’M GAY.

SGT. WIGGAMS
If you continue in this manner I will shoot you myself.

BILLY
Sarge, come on. Stop playing dumb. What about me and you?

SARGE
I don’t know what you’re talking about.

BILLY
I’m tired of all the hiding and sneaking around behind everybody’s backs. Tell Joe that we’ve been lovers for the last three months.

JOE
What?

BILLY
That’s right, Sarge and I are lovers. And I don’t care who find’s out. As a matter of fact (shouting) hey Talibans, Sarge and I have been doing it regularly for the last three months!

SGT. WIGGAMS
Stop saying that! We are not lovers.

JOE
You know Billy, I hate to rain on your little gay pride parade, but, uh, that’s just part of the survival training.

BILLY
The what?

JOE
Yeah, the survival training. He’s been porking the whole platoon for a long time now, myself included. And I’m definitely not gay. Good training though.

BILLY
Oh, god, Sarge. You two-timing bastard.

JOE
Actually, it would have been more than just two. There’s a lot of us, you know. So I guess you’re still not gay, you’re just well trained like the rest of us.

(We hear the whistle of an artillery round)

SGT. WIGGAMS
Incoming!

(Explosion. BILLY is hit.)

BILLY
I’m hit. Oh god, I’m gonna die.

JOE
Yeah, that’s a bad one.

SGT. WIGGAMS
I’m sorry soldier.

BILLY
Please, just tell them that I died in a gay manner, that I had an accident while decorating my foxhole or something. I don’t want people to know I died on a battlefield. It’s too stereotypically masculine. (BILLY reaches in and pulls out the letter.) And I want you to give this letter to my wife. It tells her that, well, that I’m gay.

JOE
Oh Billy, even facing death, such a kidder.

BILLY
Please, just do this one thing for a dying homo.

(Billy dies.)

SGT. WIGGAMS
Do you really think he was gay?

JOE
Hell no. If he was gay, he would’ve joined the Navy.

BLACKOUT

My Holiday Card To You

Below is a video I dug up of an old Teatro Bastardo Chicago Sketchfest appearance back in January of 2007. This was a scene I wrote on the timely subject of Christmas carols.

I hope it speaks for itself. Happy NSFW holidays.

Tribute

As most of you know, my father passed away last June after a battle with cancer. A few months before that, in March, my parents celebrated their 35th Wedding Anniversary. Because of crazy schedules and frequent trips back home to see him and my Mom during his illness, Mary and I couldn't make the date of anniversary party, so I decided to do a video and send it to the party.

Despite the quality of the video (I shot and edited it on some software made for kids--the Intel Play Kids Movie Editor) I'm pretty happy with it. I think I got my point across, and my parents loved it.

So this is for you Mom and Dad. With love. From me.

What Does Your Television Viewing Say About You?

Hello from Hollywood! Since I've moved to the land of studios, I've learned that ratings and viewing figures mean everything. In fact, if fewer than 125 people look at me in a day, I may cease to exist.

The Hollywood Reporter has a story highlighting the viewing habits of Republicans and Democrats. Here are the top 15 for each group:

What does this say about you? Have you discovered that your voting record is a lie?

Looks like I'm a Republican. As a big fan of sitcoms (and seeking a gig writing on one), I apparently want my taxes lower, my gun rack larger, and my immigrants non-existent. The Democrat list include three comedies whereas the Republican list has four (five if you include Glenn Beck). Chuck Lorre must be thrilled.

What are you, RvD blog readers?

(Also, buy my book.)

The Steering Wheel Desk

Posting has been slim around here, to say the least, but here is a little present for you. Just click the link below and start reading the comments on this amazing product. Don't forget to look at the customer images as well. You will not be disappointed.

I give you: The Steering Wheel Desk.
After you are done you should consider taking Oprah's No Phone Zone Pledge. Seriously.

I like to think I'm saving lives.

Don't Be A Douchebag - Vote!

Only Two Shows Left!

Only two more shows! Robot vs. Dinosaur's The Saga of the Viking Women and their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton under the Direction of The Great Sea Serpent. See it before it's gone forever. The show rocks. It's funny. The music is great. And it has a sea serpent!

Another Video for My Mom

They have no idea why they must do all this, but they know there are treats in it for them. Dogs with a purpose in mind.